Please attend my funeral

Please visit my gofundme page


So as you know, Easter break ends today, and tomorrow is school. Here are 47284748 reasons I don’t want to go back….

1) My enemies

2) New girl

3) Science homework that I have to do as soon as I walk in the door

4) 4 insanely hard flute scales I HAVENT practised for

5) Dizzy spells

6) My depressed mood swings AKA my life

7) HE 

8) The fact my best friends are in different classes/years/friendship groups

9) All these clubs I have my time for

10) Sports day (not this week but…)

11) The fact we arent revising for exams

12) The fact we’re not having exams (I’m not kidding I love tests more than being at school)

13) This is an unlucky post

14) The fact I’m missing PE and everyone will ask me “why are you missing PE” and I will tell them I will pass out if I do any fast paced excercise, they willl say “most people feel dizzy” WTF

15) The fact they have been viewing my blog and I will die

16) The fact my parents tell me I have a great life

17) Questions about deleting my social media


19) The fact I have to pray for dear life I don’t sit to people I don’t like

20) (NOT A CON) The fact I have to pray I sit next to my best friend in the one class we have together.

So please donate to my gofundme, my funeral is on May 12th, so feel free to attend and rejoice in happiness because the most annoying and nerdy and depressing blogger has left the planet.

But I will haunt you.


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂 





(Do not panic; the police were not involved, and everything is [mostly] OK)

So at the end of the month, we are getting our garage roof redone, so obviously we have to clean it, and in order to do that we need to obviously take stuff out and recycle it.

Because we’re cheap, imagine a bag-version of a skip. Yeah, that’s pretty much what’s sitting in our driveway. So we have old trash, boxes, unused appliances etc.

So me and my mom went on a short walk (bc my 5K egg on Pokémon go was at 4.97 so we went on a walk around the block) and we saw this guy, DIGGING AROUND IN OUR SKIP BAG THINGY.


So obviously my mom was like “what are you doing get out of our trash”

So the guy was like this (my moms dialog is in bold)

“Oh sorry I put it back”

“Yeah put it back”

“You live here?”

“Yeah. Sam, call 999”

(My name is Samantha to clear up any confusion, and I live in England)

So I just stood there with 999 dialled on my keypad, I didn’t know whether to call them…

“Yeah I need police this man is stealing cardboard and kitchen knives”

Ya know…not too urgent.

So this guy was like “you have no heart you’re the devil”

“Yeah I sold my heart”



Anyway, we ended up DRAGGING the bag back into the garage, but all is well in our household 🙂


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂

Bloggerofthebloggish beauty routine

Yes, I know this isn’t my usual pessimistic post you see every Friday, but aside from being the worst makeup artist in the universe, I have found a bunch of great drugstore products that I use for my everyday look (keep in mind I don’t have the prices, but I will list all the brands, shades and where I got them from 🙂 )


Product used: Maybelline Super Stay primer (from Boots) 

I usually rub this on my cheeks, forehead and chin (no beauty blender involved) and it also acts as a moisturiser so this is a great primer for me.


Product used: Natural Collecion colour foundation (from Boots – Shade porcelain)

Blended with a Real Techniques beauty blender.

While this feels cakey during application, I PROMISE if you use a setting powder or corrector afterwards it will smooth out and leave your face looking flawless.


Product used: Maybelline Eraser Eye concealer (from Boots – Shade light)

Blended with Ecotools concealer brush

This concealer is absolutely amazing; while it can sting if left unblended, it conceals flaws amazingly well. Even with a thick spongy applicator, it feels fun to apply and would recommend this unless your eyes get irritated easily.


Product used: Technic COLOURFIX corrector palette (from Superdrug – Lilac used)

Applied with Ecotools brush 

Blended with Primark beauty blender

Correcting is your BFF. Whenever I apply my makeup, I always appear yellow in the mirror, so I always apply lilac corrector to my face and it also provides a smooth matte texture and is easily blendable. It also has instructions on the back which was super useful for me because when I got it for my birthday, I had no idea what to use each colour for so it really helped me.


Product used: Maybelline Super Stay 24 powder (from Boots – shade 10/ivory)

Applied with Ecotools powder brush

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this powder, even after I tested the Rimmel stay matte, I’m obsessed with this powder because if you have pale skin (like me after putting corrector on) it neutralises your skin; not too yellow, but not too pale, plus it comes with a foam powder puff and this lid has a built in mirror too.


Product used: No7 Beautifully defined contour kit (from Boots – Shade light/medium)

Applied with the No7 contour/highlight brush

This is such a great contour; it matches me perfectly and defines my face shape, however I am becoming disappointed by the highlight because it doesn’t show up on my face, but I would recommend the contour 100%!


Product used: technic COLOURFIX blush palette (from Superdrug – I use the top right shade) 

Applied with the real techniques blush brush

I am becoming obsessed with this blush palette, mainly because of the great variety of colour, because I had tried the shade next to the one I am using now and found out it was too dark so I didn’t have to invest in a new blush; instead I could just use the blush next to it (and did I mention 8 shades for £3.49?!)


Product used: Revlon Eyeshadow pallets (from ??? – shade Watercolours/520)

Blended with a fan brush

I am becoming obsessed with these palettes, because they have primer, lid shade, crease shade and brow bone shade all in one handy diagram. Since I got it for Christmas, I am not sure where it’s from but apart from a bit hard to blend, I recommend this definitely.


Product used: Clarins Wonderperfect Mascara (from Boots – shade 01/wonder black)

Enough with the benefit mascara, this is the most amazing mascara I have found on the market. Apart from being amazingly mini, the wand is so voluminous and creates such a full natural look for your lashes. Definitely one of my faves!!

Lip balm

Product used: Vaseline (can be from any supermarket – scent Rosy lips)

(No pic available)

I love this lip balm, mainly because it provides a nice subtle tint to the lips leaving them moisturised and ready for lip products. Did I mention they are found pretty much everywhere?! 


Product used: Maybelline vivid matte liquid (from Boots – Shade 05/Nude flush)

By far one of my favourite lipsticks. I love the colour, and the product feels really high end despite being from my local drugstore. They also have a bunch more so definitely check them out!

That was pretty much it for my beauty routine. Here is my ugly face displaying the final look. Please do not criticise me on my technique; I am absolutely terrible at applying makeup, but here we go….

//Please do not save this as your desktop background lol//


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂

I will be judged

I am currently writing this on my phone because I’m a lazy moron who forgot to write a post until now :/ 

If you know me, then you know I like to change things (pencilcases, school bags etc) and I have been questioned two million too many times. 

So I will have a PARADISE after Easter.

1) A new kid is coming after Easter and I WANT to say SO BAD that I know her but I know from PURE EXPERIENCE that I NEVER get a chance to talk to them (mainly they’re more popular than cashmeousside girl) And oh, no, god forbid I’m somebody’s *gulp* BUDDY! 

So another chance of socialising DOWN THE EFFING DRAIN

2) Right before we broke up, our head of year had a talk with us about being nice, respectful etc. And to whoever is making my life a living hell (I know you’re there) IM PRAYING YOU WERE LISTENING. 

Time to be alone and cry because my best friend and me have one class together and Hannah (my other best friend) have ZERO classes together. And don’t forget staring at the clock intently waiting for 8:30 to approach.

3) I got a new backpack, a cool organiser and pencil case. For school (as a bday present)


4) HE is ruining my life. First because I was INSULTED by my teacher (even after profuse apologies, I have been scarred forever) and because I CANNOT cut a zucchini proportionately to save my life, and because I don’t have the best seating arrangement (another crime made by my teacher).

I know I’ve mentioned this before, but in case it goes one ear out the other, what happens on this blog STAYS on this blog. And I am not warning you, I am TELLING you that if you bring up anything from this blog in real life, unless you are my parents, I will a) ignore you or b) tell you to stop it. But based on the fact I have like 3 friends I will probably ignore you. All I can do is think about a song or revision and POOF you’re gone. Easy. And my parents can contact my tutor again. It’s not impossible, so just do yourself a favour and stay on my good side.P

Please wish me luck on my deathbed.


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂

Instagram RANT


Ok, so this isn’t specifically targeted at one person, rather than a group of people, and please do not leave any hate in the comments, because this is basically why I deleted my Instagram.

1) Great pictures

I consider myself pretty selfie-genic. I rock the dog snapchat filter.

Apparently others don’t. Whenever someone posts a good picture, I see 20+ comments with fire emojis, heart-eye emojis and heart emojis.
This is the moment I slowly die because my Instagram is FILLED with selfies to comment on. This is the reason I am INTROVERTED. This is the reason I never like people’s pictures, or dm anybody unless they dm me first.

2) Rates

Ok, I understand that if you don’t know someone you wouldn’t give them a 10/10 rating. So a girl in my class did rates with her best friend who doesn’t know me. But I’ve seen that girl give like 7/10 – don’t know them well.

So the girl in my class gave me a 90/10. That I was happy about. But her best friend gave me a FOUR. A FLIPPING FOUR. NO COMMENT JUST A PLAIN SMILEY FACE I THINK THAT MEANS MORE THAN A FOUR.

3) Birthday wishes

So if you have Instagram, you have a story where you can write, type put boomerangs etc. Whenever it’s someone’s birthday, everyone’s stories is filled with ‘Happy Birthday ____’.

On my birthday. I check Instagram MULTIPLE times.





So I predicted right. I got none.

However, I have to give people credits, because I did get lots of snapchat wishes, but this shows how I FIT IN A CROWD.

4) Not related to Instagram, but the homework issue

So teachers sometimes forgot to set us homework, but without it, I get bored. My life is dull. So my WORST CLASS EVER (home EC) runs into break (apparently our teacher doesn’t care that we need to kinda eat or get our books, so this is why I hate home ec, because I was obviously excited so it had to be ruined for me) so the bell went, and I said to my teacher ‘are you going to assign us homework?’

Then this girl who I HATE TO MY STOMACH was like ‘that isn’t funny’, but let me say she’s a suck up and whenever a teacher says, ‘oh! wait, I forgot to assign homework!’ she would fake-laugh it off.

So this is when I turn into a corpse and DIE because the world is so intolerant of me.


Well, I think I’m done giving my white-trashy opinion (yes, I’m white).


~bloggerofthebloggish (my computer can actually do the cool squiggly line now beause my keyboard is messed up :/ )

My chaotic life & Should I take this down?

Hello happy humanstown! (Literally my favourite saying ever 😀 )
My life has been SO chaotic, so let me fill you in on some stuff that happened.

First, I got a 99 on my Math test!
A 99!_,
As people in my class would say, what the flip?!

Ok, next, I nearly passed out in PE. And I nearly was sick all over the floor. Thank god I wasn’t.

So, we were playing rounders in PE (I’m literally feeling nauseous as I type 🙂 ) and once I ran around the pitch (and lost, obviously), I felt very dizzy and ‘out of body’ – it’s a feeling that’s hard to describe but if you have felt it you know exactly what I’m talking about. So I leaned on the radiator for 10 minutes, DESPERATELY trying not to faint or puke.

Then we did some laps, and I was fine, until we left the gym for break. I was stumbling around, but it wasn’t too bad.

Then I was having break with my best friend, and we were talking, like we usually do but I wasn’t feeling it. So I said ‘do I look pale?’
So I said to another friend ‘do I look pale?’
‘Yeah, but it’s nothing to worry about’.
‘Actually, I feel as if I might pass out’,
‘Go to the medical room’,

So I went to the medical room, almost passing out and obviously feeling extremely stressed, so my best friend was like ‘in through your nose out through your mouth’, and she was SO supportive.

I actually ended up going home that day but the next day I survived and ate some chocolate crack (it’s NOT what you think it I, completely harmless, I swear 😀 )

And also, it’s my BIRTHDAY tomorrow. OH MY GOD.
But with the best holiday of the year (not kidding, my bday is my absolute FAVOURITE holiday of the year), comes a massive con.
An old con with glasses and hearing aids. An old con who’s 70.

I will leave that to you to guess.

And also, should I take this blog down? I know it sounds heartbreaking, but I’ve been wrapped up with social media, school, organization that this blog is kinda taking a back seat.

OR, should I set myself a very harsh reminder to post every Friday?

Let me know by Thursday.

But anyways, that’s all my hands will allow me to type today, but please wish me a happy birthday, because its not like I’ll get any *cough*Instagram*cough* wishes that *cough* everyone gets.
Of course not. I’m unpopular and the geek and the burden and the gum on society’s shoe.
*I have issues*


(I hate my computer I can’t do the cool squiggly line 😦 )

-Bloggerofthebloggish 🙂