Home Ec Hell

Yes, even though I’m missing home ec next week because of exams, we are making SCONES.

That is not a good thing.

Last week, we had a scone tasting session. If you have heard of me as the ‘party puker’, I had a cheese scone right before my expulsion.

So, being the emetophobic and hypochondriac I am, I did NOT want anything to do with scones. I did not sign up to this class to eat.

THIS IS WHAT MY TEACHER SAID WHEN I DIDNT WANT TO DO IT.

‘Well I really want you to do it’.

TIMES 500000000000000000000. (jk)

This is what I wanted to say:

‘OK LISTEN LADY, I HAVE A FEAR OF PUKE AND I HAD A BAD EXPERIENCE WITH SCONES. SO MAYBE, JUST LEAVE ME BE AND ASK *friend’s mom* IF ITS TRUE. BECAUSE IT IS. SO STOP ******* PRESSURING ME’.

And if that isn’t bad enough, lots of people are making cheese scones.

*Dear Lord.

At around 10:30AM on Monday 12th June, please could I “coincidentally” have a dizzy spell and go to the medical room, so I don’t have to make scones. And make sure it lasts until around 11:20. Thanks.

Amen*

And I also cried myself to sleep last night, and wasted my time looking at memes at 5AM.

I have a great life.

Chaio!

~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂

*HELP ME. PLZ*

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The post when you have 3 weeks before exams and you haven’t revised a thing

Yes, I am guilty of not revising (yet)

AND WTF WE ARE GETTING OUR EXAM TIMETABLES TOMORROW

PLEASE LEAVE FLOWERS BY MY GRAVE

I chose to be buried with the other exam sufferers at exam memorial st, Venice, Rome.

Some nice forget me nots would be good. Or just some roses.

And THANK YOU to all those who attended my funeral. It was a lovely party.

Chaio!

~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂

Doctor doctor

Ok, first of all if you know anyone (e.g. Family) who is a doctor then please tell them my following symptoms. Just don’t make me an appointment for some clinic in another part of the world.

So about March 30th, I was having dizzy spells. Like REALLY BAD. I felt a wind pulling me back and I could barely walk. Don’t forget my pale face too.

I felt about THIS CLOSE to puking all over the floor. I just wanted to be euthanised or something. Morphine? 

And I’ve been having really bad stomach pains. And I can’t run because I will faint/be sick/feel crippling nausea/have a sore chest.

I will have a blood test for seliac (I think that’s how you spell it) it’s basically a disease that restricts eating dairy wheat and gluten. 

My mom thinks I’m aneamic but I have baked beans and bananas almost every day.

#thisistheonepointithinkimdying

And also I CONSTANTLY find myself smelling my stress relief thingy. (IDK) And yes my eyes have been checked and they are fine.

Please let me know in the comments if you have a possible diagnosis, but until then a whole month without PE

HALLELUJAH I am Cinderella in a castle of slow movement.

Chaio!

~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂