Self Harm Talk

Ok, so before we get this out of the way, yes I do self harm. Don’t judge me; my worst fear (believe it or not coming from the person with an anxiety disorder) is being judged so please don’t judge me I know of my stability issues.

First of all, am I the only one who thinks that when I self harm, it is completely rational and a plea for help, then I look back after and think what an idiot I was. That happened to me today if y’all didn’t know

Yes, I self harmed over *homework*. I know, but let me explain my outright pettiness

In my school, we have “guidelines” (for me – RULES YOU MUST LIVE BY) of how long our homework is meant to take. For math, it’s 40 minutes, and I stick by that rule strictly.

Well, my homework ended up taking me about an hour.

Cue my mental breakdown and relentless sobbing for another hour while my parents scream at me.

Cue my 10-15 cuts on my arm.

Basically, I’m a very petty person at home, but at school I have the stability of *insert rock-like metaphor here*. I have self harmed 4 times since September, all about really dumb petty stuff. Because I have GOOD mental health.

So obviously my form tutors know about this (I told my best friend lmao) and she told my tutors

And we have tutor review day on Tuesday, where we basically come out of classes and talk to our tutors about our progress.

For me, talking about my *nonexistent* social life and my *nonexistent* mental stability

FUN, FUN, FUN

Anyways gtg

Chaio!

~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂

*PS: my posts will get more positive i just need to vent a little here*

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