Stuck in a rut

Ok so im sorry for venting a little again but this feeling has been dragging me down all day and i feel like i dont know how im meant to react/feel or what im meant to do because

Actually let me explain

When I feel like being a human, I (like most people) have lots of hobbies, including:

  • Writing
  • Listening to music
  • Daydreaming
  • Playing flute
  • Makeup
  • Organisation (ordering etc)
  • Bingeing youtube videos

Etc etc

Lately, this is what ive been feeling

  • I dont want to write (I have ideas/prompts on my pinterest but i havent had the energy to write and i lost my ‘touch’ (basically when i use advanced vocabulary and immerse myself in my writing to make it 1000x better))
  • I like listening to music but i cant think of any daydreams to go with them (bc y’all know i daydream obsessively)
  • I dont have any good day-daydreams (which is really bad because they’re really easy to come up with)
  • I haven’t touched my flute all holiday
  • I have to do a music project (which i would normally like to do because i like projects) but ive only done 1 page and i havent even SCRATCHED the surface of the project
  • I can’t think of any good makeup looks and keep doing the same brown/gold look every day
  • I organise too much (which is bad for me because even though i love organising i also hate having new layouts all the time (even though i love the process of making new layouts) because i like semi-consistency)
  • I couldn’t sit through a 10-minute youtube video made by (one of) my favourite youtubers and im not really liking the youtubers i normally watch
  • All ive been doing is checking my phone anxiously waiting for a reply from someone who i think hates me because she hasnt read my texts but shes been online but she hasnt said that she hates me but she hasnt said that we’re cool either
  • I went shopping a few days ago and i spent loads of money in a high-end shop and didnt get a buzz like i normally do when i buy literally anything

I dont know if this is hormones or something else because i still have another week of half term and i dont want to be unmotivated for school

I also feel really scared because i cherish my holidays and i feel like this one is slipping right through my fingers while i watch

(Update- apparently the girl that im waiting for a reply from is mad at me but SHE DIDNT TELL ME AND NOW I AM PISSED BECAUSE IM NOT A F*CKING PSYCHIC)

I feel like im about to cry now thats great

Ever since this school year started these 2 girls in my friend group have pretty much turned on the rest of us and the group is falling apart and i dont want to lose my friends



1 thought on “Stuck in a rut”

  1. First, let me tell you this – it’s great to see new posts on your blog! And it’s always a pleasure to see piggy. 🙂

    Second, you are stuck in a rut. Here are a couple of ways of getting out of it:

    1. Changing the routine. Changing the scenery. Weren’t you going to go somewhere today?
    2. Letting your wild creative side rule you for a while. Pick up that flute and just make noise. It doesn’t have to be a particular piece – just noise. And enjoy the fact that you can make a piece of metal sing. (remember the guy on drums – I bet his rut is one of the ruttiest in the world and he still manages to have fun with it (or, at least, vent his frustration)).
    3. Put yourself first, if only for one day. This doesn’t mean disregarding everybody else or steamrolling over them – it means looking after your feelings the way you look after others’. The girl who you think is mad at you – she sounds like she’s yanking your chain (possibly for her own enjoyment or because she doesn’t know how to get out of the situation she created). Set her aside for the day. If you want to tell her how you feel do so – nothing sobers people up like finding out that their pettiness causes others a lot of stress. And then walk away.

    Hope this helps. Remember – being in a rut is a sign of a restless creative mind looking for new challenges.


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