Ok, so I feel like actual crap right now because I PROMISED myself that I would do some writing and (hopefully) finish my Spanish project. Well, I did neither of those things and was actually (physically) beating myself up for it so my dumb a** thought ‘let’s rant about school and writing and how I feel underappreciated by the English department!1!1!!!1111!!‘ So that’s what we’re doing today 😀
Ok, so a few months ago, we had this external poetry competition about peace. We had a woman come in and talk about the competition and that sort of left a mental scar on me. She was the kind of flake that would gush over someone that wrote something like ‘peace is happy like a flower’ but get mad at actual, well-written work about peace. So, my depressing self wrote a poem about a girl who was stranded in war and was writing about everything she sees and how it links to war. I was genuinely proud of my poem and thought it stood a high chance of winning. Like, it was a well-written, structured, advanced poem. I didn’t even get highly commended :))))))))))
Like, this happens every. single. time. I enter a competition. And I’m actually sick of it because it’s not just me that actually liked my writing. Every person that’s read my writing in front of me said it was very good and advanced. People have messaged me regarding my writing on this blog and told me it was really good. Either those people are lying to me and I actually suck at writing or people who judge the competitions I enter don’t like my writing. Apparently, it’s because my writing is too depressing and unconventional, but who won the Carnegie medal of 2014? A writer who wrote a book where everybody died a horrible, graphic death.
And I genuinely think my writing is good. Call me egotistical, but I genuinely think it’s good. And it’s disappointing when I submit stories I wrote outside of school to my English teachers, only to have the paper come back covered in corrections. I’m not trying to say that my writing is perfect because it definitely isn’t, but it hurts when you put effort into a piece of work only for it to get overlooked and passed upon in exchange for something that uses less advanced structure, techniques and plotlines. Like, it’s frustrating and there are times when I start crying because of how people disregard my writing.
Ugh i dont even know anymore maybe i should stop writing