ok so today i had my first day of year 10 (9th grade) and here is my traditional first day of school post 🙂

basically in year 10 i start my gcses which are very important exams in england which are your minimum qualifications for things like university etc, the courses are 2 years long and you take the exams at the end of year 11 (so when youre around 16)

i got to pick my gcses so i have a lot longer lessons but i have the subjects i like so 🙂

lets go!

so because our school is hashtag amazing nobody told us our new form rooms (we got new form groups too) so we were kinda wandering around for a long time trying to find our form room

one of my form tutors is cool but the other one is my gcse english teacher and she is SO scary and she picks on you for literally everything so thats fun having her for the 2nd time :):):):)

instead of double french we had double form period to get our timetables, locker keys etc and i FINALLY GOT A TOP LOCKER thank god also my timetable is quite good and i have friends in all my classes 🙂

after form period we had physics where we did a recap on waves and we also got a SHIT ton of books and specifications 😦

after physics and break we had math where i didnt understand anything uh but apparently its meant to be hard so. also we got an 800 page textbook yayyyyyy

then we had pe after lunch where we played benchball the entire time but thank god its bottom set lmao :):):)

finally we had english uh with my scary teacher but all we did was talk about the SHIT TON of work we had to do

i mean i didnt have a reason to be anxious cause i could barely eat and i barely slept but of course i stressed too much so :):):)

anyways that was my first day of year 10, sorry if it isnt detailed but i had like 2 panic attacks today and i feel like shit so :):)))


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂

Matlock bath (Part 5)

Ok, so of course you know i go to matlock bath every year with my best friend Annette (she said I can use her name), and of course I have to do my yearly matlock bath post :))))

Also when this was published (2nd sept) i start year 10/9th grade tomorrow so also expect a first day of school post :):):):)

Also most of these pictures are recreations so to save you all some hassle i made side by side collages of previous pictures – i’ll say which year theyre from and which posts etc

Lets goo 🙂

Basically the train was very very full cause there was only one coach for a very busy local route, so basically there were people standing in the aisles and there were so many people that we couldnt fit everyone through the doors, so my friend and i had to stand next to the toilets for the first 2 or 3 stops so heres me probably texting my friends lol

The first thing we did was the masons cavern which was the place with the donkey and the iconic cavern photo

Heres the donkey recreation which became VERY dirty

(the one on the left is from 2017 and the oe on the right is 2019 – also that black dot on the first pic was accidental editing oops)

And heres the iconic cavern photo which looks the same every year

in order (left to right) 2017, 2018, 2019

this isnt a recreation but there was a model cable car thing we could sit on so here is us doing a cringy family photo thing lmao

i look like i want to die lol

unlike the previous years we didnt do the cavern tour because none of us really wanted to go, but we did climb to the hill and take a bunch of photos

heres a recreation of me t posing

the one on the left is from 2018 and the one on the right is 2019

heres another recreation of Annette being wise lmao

this one actually looks very similar in my opinion but its a lot less blurry yay (left pic is 2018, right pic is 2019)

and heres a recreation of the view selfie that we manged to perfect 🙂

(top to bottom) 2017, 2018, 2019

then we recreated the rock and roll pic lmao but in the current one we look like a band lol

top – 2017, bottom – 2019

this recreation isnt very similar but the picture on the right is very funny and i wanted to include it, also because both of us found it so funny we have our phone wallpapers set as that now

left – 2018, right – 2019

i look like i want to die and Annette looks like a cheery character lmao

we also took a bunch of panoramas because we were bored and here are some funny ones 😳

after the panoramas, we had some amazing hot dogs and went up the tower where annette kept sitting on the ledge and i was having a heart attack cause i was scared she was gonna fall off lol

we also recreated the school bus pictures from last year and some little kids thought annette was like 6 lmao

left – 2018, right, 2019 (we were squinting cause it was very sunny)

when we were going back there was a TON of people waiting for the cable cars so we were literally running to the train

we tried to recreate the iconic cable car picture but we didnt have enough time so it didnt turn out well but here it is anyway

left to right – 2017, 2018, 2019

we managed to make it to the train with one minute to spare :)))

when we got home we also did some more panoramas and i want to share this one of annette having a mental breakdown

anyways those are all the recreations 🙂

i really need to go and prepare for tomorrow oops


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂


Ok so this is going to be your average yearly beach trips post but uh i almost died in whitby so i’ll put that story down below :):):)):):)):)::)

7th Aug I went to Scarborough


– Very nice beach


– Good weather


– We were dropped off at the wrong place oop


– Everything was so far away so we had to WALK

9th Aug I went to Skegness


– Warm sea

– AMAZING waves

– Amazing food


– I didnt get to go on the rides 😦

– My butt and leg hurt SO BAD on the way back oops

– Sandstorms :))))))

19th Aug I went to Whitby


– Alexanders is amazing (its a fish and chips cafe and UGH ITS SO GOOD)

– We went to a cute beach 🙂

– Good photo ops


– Someone threw up on the bus :):):):):)

– I almost died

– The water was literally ice cold

Ok lemme tell you about how i almost died

So basically theres this bridge on the beach and one side goes to the normal beach, and the other side goes to a very rocky/desolate beach, so my mom and i went to the rocky one cause it looked cool

So we walked for a good 1/4 mile – 1/2 mile down this beach which is COVERED in massive rocks (3-4ft tall) but its really desolate and so pretty so we dont mind

We reach the end of the sandy path (after that point it was just rocks and nothing else) so we turn around to go back after about 10 mins of skipping rocks etc

Then we realised that the tide came in.

And took the entire beach with it.

By that, I mean that all the sand was gone, and some rocks that were close to the water were being engulfed as well

And it wasnt like we could wait for the tide to go out either cause it had only just started coming in and had already swallowed the beach

So, we had to climb the 4ft tall, slippery, pointy rocks back. The tide was only getting higher and by this point the water would have been over our heads

So we started to climb and of course i was screaming and swearing cause i was lowkey terrified haha

Spoiler alert: we made it back alive, and with all of our stuff in tact and we only had a few scratches on our legs and wet leggings

So yeah thats basically how i almost died cause if i fell off the rocks hard enough i probably would have fallen in the water 🙂

Heres a picture of the rocks

These are the rocks we had to climb and you can see that the tide is already in

(I took this after we had climbed the rocks so)

Ok imma go to bed its 1am and i need to SLEEP


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂

Happy 5 years brothers

Ok, so bloggish is officially 5 years old.

I lowkey didn’t think i would get this far cause mEnTaL hEaLth but i survived and hopefully there will be another 5 years 🙂

Because im last minute and boring im going to do 50 unpopular opinions cause i want to share my controversial opinions with the world 😀

1) Whatsapp is better than imessage

2) Chocolate is nasty and disgusting

3) The bottom part of the cupcake is the best

4) The Beatles is a good band, but people shouldnt hate on bands like bts etc cause they are the beatles of this generation

5) Cats are 10000x better than dogs

6) Green is an ugly colour for clothes

7) I prefer iOS to android cause its much smoother and more aesthetically pleasing

8) I like double denim

9) Airpods are great

10) The only good sports to watch are figure skating, climbing, swimming, diving and gymnastics

11) LGBT people and black people deserve their own months (there is also a military month which is may)

12) ‘save the turtles’ is bullshit

13) water parks are much better than theme parks

14) i enjoy long car rides as long as i have time to stand up/stretch

15) ‘Friends’ is very overrated

16) ‘Love island’ is bullshit

17) I dont care if you like things i dont but dont shove them in my face

18) Bananas are the best fruit

19) Cream is horrible

20) Waffles are better than pancakes

21) JK Rowling is concieted and overrated

22) Kevin Brooks and Sarah Crossan are my favourite authors

23) Binge watching TV is boring

24) Youtube is MUCH better than Netflix

25) Racism happens to any race depending on the circumstance (same goes for any kind of discrimination)

26) Apple music is better than spotify – less confusing and its not littered with unnecessary features

27) Euthanasia is not inhumane and should be universally legalized

28) Churches should not be tax free just because theyre ‘religious buildings’

29) Kpop isnt bad but it should stop being shoved in everyones faces

30) Im not a huge fan of Eastern/Asian food

31) The death penalty should be legal everywhere because it will be better for the majority if someone who killed 20 people is killed

32) Moths are annoying and useless

33) Weed should be legalised but have limits, but it should be universally allowed medically

34) Communism is good in theory but isnt good in practise

35) The Kardashians are good buisnesswomen but theyre also horrendously overrated

36) I dont care if you vape/drink/smoke, just respect my decision to refrain from such activities

37) Fat acceptance is bullshit but if you are naturally plus-sized and living a healthy lifestyle then good for you!

38) Rap is my least favourite music genre

39) Everyone is asexual until puberty

40) Vaccination should be mandatory unless there is a severe medical reason

41) People should stop pushing for womens rights over men and fight just for rights for humanity

42) Throwing away the leftovers on my plate isnt starving the african children

43) A 10+ year age gap is not bad (if youre both consenting adults) – a 19 year old with a 29 year old is not bad if they are both consenting

44) Ariana Grande is a good singer but she is so overrated

45) Fake merch is just as good, if not better than real merch

46) ABBA is underrated

47) Polyamory should be legalised

48) Non binary people are valid and they/them pronouns are valid

49) Gender fluidity is a form of gender expression, not a gender identity

50) Kids should be allowed to have smartphones, not only to avoid isolation in real life, but most of the internet is safe as long as you know red flags

Those are some unpopular opinions, they gradually get more controversial but please respect that they are all opinions (except for number 25 cause thats an actual fact that people are too ignorant to believe), so yeah.

Happy 5 years again brothers 🙂


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂

A day in the life of bloggerofthebloggish (summer holiday edition)

Ok, so im on a 5 hour bus ride and i was reading my old blog posts and saw a day in the life that i did, so I thought why not do a summer day in my life so i dont have to think about my crippling leg pain right now 🙂 (also im typing this on my phone so the grammar etc isnt the best lol)

(This is for free days so this obviously isnt every day cause i do go outside with friends etc)

8:20AM – Wake up in a daze and roll over

10:00AMActually wake up because I dont wanna sleep until 12 oops

10:30 – Get out of bed after scrolling on my phone

10:40 – Have breakfast

11:00 – Get changed, do makeup etc

11:20 – Pack my laptop, keys and bus card and go to the bus stop

11:35 – Get on the bus 😀

11:50 – Walk to the library

12:00 – Do some summer work

12:50 – Leave the library and go to the main shopping centre

1:00 – Go shopping/run errands etc

1:30 – Catch the bus to go back home

2:00 – End up home

2:10 – Make lunch (normally croissants & spaghetti hoops because YES)

3:00 – Put away laptop, bus card etc

3:10 – Listen to music

4:00 – Go get a snack (cupcakes, porridge etc)

4:45 – Watch youtube/lie down cause food coma

5:30 – Get a random burst of motivation and clean something

6:20 – Listen to music again

6:45 – DINNER

7:00 – Listen to more music (shocker)

8:00 – ‘Family time’ aka me socialising with my parents oops

9:00 – Watch more youtube/do some makeup looks for my makeup insta 😀

10:00 – Skincare routine

10:15 – Shower time

10:40 – Another snack (shocker)

11:00 – More skincare & unmaking bed, daily reflections etc

11:10 – Listen to MORE music

11:40 – Watch youtube for ages

12:30 – Turn off my lights

1:00/1:30 – Watch youtube until i fall asleep

so thats basically a typical holiday day in my life, obviously i hang with friends or go places but this is my typical chilled out day but still kinda grinding 😔

anyways im going to go cause my legs hurt so bad that they will PROBABLY fall off lmao


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂

Bloggerofthebloggish beauty routine (UPDATED 2019)

Ok, so it’s been around a year since my last beauty routine, but im being a bit more minimalistic this time around so I thought i would show you my more natural makeup routine that isnt full-on foundation, eyeshadow etc (also it’s literally midnight as i’m doing this so sorry for the bad lighting lol)


I used to (and i still do) store my makeup in my alex 9 drawers, but i moved my favourites into this makeup bag from WHSmith and it’s my fav makeup bag ever its so adorable 🥺

From: WHSmith

Price: £8.99


For primer i use my MAC Fix+ goldlite cause it’s easy to spray on and its very very shimmery and pretty 🙂

From: MAC

Price: £19.50


Ok, so i didn’t know a brow product could be THIS good, but the Anastasia Dipbrow exceeded all of my expectations! I have never had a pomade so creamy, and also so long-wearing. It’s also easy to change the instensity, but because it is £19, a dupe i recommend is the Makeup Obession pomade, but please buy the ABH pomade if you’re able to!


Price: £19


Similar to my last beauty routine, I’m still using the iconic collection concealer, but I also recommend the Makeup Revolution Conceal & Define concealer which is similar price but the collection one is more natural and just better coverage for summer

From: Boots

Price: £4.19


This powder is universally hated by the beauty community due to the smell and fragility, but this is one of my favourite powders ever and it hasnt broken (yet, even though this is my 3rd compact lol) and i consider it better than its popular companion, the Stay Matte powder. So, cue Rimmel Clear Complexion!

From: Boots

Price: £3.99


This product is also generally disliked in favour of the popular Benefit HOOLA bronzer, but after repeatedly trying HOOLA, i instantaneously preferred this product to HOOLA, because it’s less patchy, much cheaper and has a better shade range (imo), however the Rimmel Natural Bronzer is quite orange compared to HOOLA.

From: Boots

Price: £3.99

Brow gel

Just a regular ESSENCE brow gel, not much to see here lmao

From: Wilko

Price: £2.50

Setting spray

So, i have the urban decay all nighter spray, and I do like it, but I think the Maybelline dream satin mist is a little better, because it dries with a lovely glowy finish and is very easy to apply highlighter on top of, and it’s also much cheaper!

From: Boots

Price: £6.99


Hands-down one of the best mascaras I’ve ever tried, however it does tend to touch your eyelids and leave black spots, but other than that the Essence Lash Princess Mascara is a must-have!

From: Wilkos

Price: £3.50


While this isn’t my favourite highlighter palette (SLEEK distorted dreams is by far my fav), the popular SLEEK solstice palette definitely deserves hype for its versatile, everyday colours that suit everyone!

From: Boots (i use the orange and yellow shades)

Price: £9.99

So, that’s pretty much my new beauty routine that’s a lot more everyday and natural, and now it’s time for my ugly mug to display the finished look!

Let’s compare with my previous looks (in order: April 2017, July 2018, August 2019)

Ok i’m going to go cause it’s 1am right now and I need to fix my sleep schedule really bad 🙂


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂


I hate feeling like this. I hate it.
Basically, as of today, my best friend has officially moved out of the country.
My best friend is moving from England to Dubai because long story short, financial problems, loss of jobs etc. I have only known her for just over a year, but throughout year 9 (8th grade), she has helped me so so much as a person. She’s the completing force in our friendship group, and when the three of us (i.e. our close close friend group) hang out together, it just feels right. Like, we don’t need any more people and we don’t need any less people. Our group was absolutely perfect. We hung out every day at school, and during the holidays we would get together at least once if it was a really short holiday. Even though I had spent more of my secondary school life without her than with her, I couldn’t even imagine how it would be without her. She balances us out perfectly; we have me who agrees with one side, my other friend who agrees with both sides, and this friend who agrees with the other side. Like, everything was perfect. And I don’t even want to begin thinking how I will cope next year with GCSEs coming to eat my ass and more academic stress put on me.

And I hate how I feel right now.
I feel absolutely numb.
I don’t know what your reaction should be when I tell you that this isn’t uncommon at all. I don’t even know if it’s healthy, but hear me out anyway.
When I feel numb, I can’t do anything pretty much. I could literally be knee deep in a task and when this feeling hits me, I suddenly drop everything I’m doing and suddenly I switch off.
Physically, I can’t do anything. My entire body feels like a weight I have to drag around and anything besides lying on my bed sounds pretty unappealing to me. And when I do lie on my bed and scroll through my phone for hours, I hate it. I want to be productive and I want to do things but I can’t. Getting out of bed seems impossible, and when I do, I’m so dizzy from lying down that I eventually get back in bed anyway.
Mentally, I can’t do anything. If you’ve read my posts about maladaptive daydreaming, you know that my imagination is extremely active. I can turn on my music and slip into a daydream world so easily that nobody can even tell. However, when I feel this way, I can’t. I start my pacing and turn my music on full volume, but nothing comes to my mind. My mind is just like a grey fuzz, and my love for creating new characters and plotlines has suddenly become nothing more than a past hobby. I want to create and I want to experience this idealised world I created for myself, but my brain just turns off and leaves me feeling even more hopeless.
Emotionally, I can’t do anything. When I’m numb, I don’t feel anything. Every time I try to feel something, my brain reminds me why I feel numb, and suddenly that emotion is discarded. I don’t laugh but I don’t cry. Every inch of my body wants me to cry, but I just can’t. I don’t want to start crying unless I know I don’t have to do anything. For example, if it’s a school night, I don’t cry unless I have a good hour in the evening of completely free time. I put work and commitments ahead of my crying time, cause I can just feel numb for a few hours because work comes first, obviously.
I hate feeling this way, because I literally can’t do anything. I have no motivation to get up, or to get ready for bed, but I still do it because I will hate myself even more if I don’t. I want to let loose and do a fake karaoke and do what I love, but my brain convinces me that I’m faking it and I shouldn’t feel this way.
And the worst part is that I don’t even know when it will hit. For example, I was cleaning out my dresser (I was literally knee-deep in clothing) and suddenly I got a text from one of my friends saying she can’t hang out. Suddenly, this numbness hit me like a train. I could physically feel my body becoming heavy, and my mind becoming grey and fuzzy, and I wanted to cry so badly, but my entire body just shut off.

The annual Exam Results post yeet

Ok, so I’m sorry for not posting in ages but (as you probably read from the title) i had exams lol. Anyway, I break up for summer in two weeks so hopefully I’ll be able to post 🙂

Anyway, I’ll be posting my results and a comparison from last year (disclaimer: most of the papers I took were GCSE so I did really bad lol)

I’ll also be following these general grade boundaries for GCSE:

9 – A** – 90% or above
8 – A* – 80-90%
7 – A – 70-80%
6 – B – 60-70%
5 – C – 50-60%
4 – pass – 40-50%

Spanish – 98% (+11%)
Spanish Oral – 100% (+12%)
Math (Non-Calculator) – 87% (-1%)
Math (Calculator) – 74% (-10%)
English – 75% (-11%)
French Oral – 95% (+0%)
French –  81% (-9%) (Sorry for the spacing here it’s because my computer was really slow so I had to move to my phone lol)

Geography – 75% (+8%)

History – 65% (-1%)

Religious Studies – 85% (-7%)

Music – 89% (+4% – lowkey upset that I didn’t get a 9 lol)

Biology – 68% (-7%)

Chemistry – 70% (-13%)

Physics – 71% (-7%)

Ok so I’m kinda ashamed of my grades, cause even though they’re ok on their own, Im used to getting 80% and above and I actually bothered to revise this year (unlike the last two years) so I’m kind of convinced that there is no revision technique that actually works because NOTHING sticks in my head. It’s like – if I understand it first time then it’s fine, but if I don’t understand it first time then good luck trying to make me remember it. Like maybe in a year or two I will finally grasp the concept but definitely not in a few weeks can i grasp it no matter how hard I try.

And i’m also pissed at my history grade cause for one of the 10 mark questions we had to write a diary entry about someone living in WW1. So me being an intellectual, I wrote from the perspective of a Russian baby. Obviously babies are meant to be clueless, so I wrote what I heard was going on, and what I heard people say, but obviously I had no clue what was actually going on, but I did write about the causes and history in the entry. I came out of the exam feeling only confident with that one question. The one worth 10 marks.

I literally got 5 marks for the question



SOMEONE LITERALLY WROTE FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF A PIECE OF WOOD. AND THEY GOT MORE THAN ME. (Im not trying to invalidate that persons work, but i know people will say ‘try writing from a different perspective’ (i.e. a more conventional one like from a soldier etc) and i’m just using this person’s example to back it up ok so dont @ me thanks)

im not even kidding i was literally contemplating jumping off of the stairs when i saw my history grade :)))))

cause i am the daughter of a teacher, so i’ve grown up with the message of academics over everything else, and no matter what grade i got, my parents would pick on me over it. if it was a 99, they would say ‘make it 100’. if it was a 100, they would say ‘keep getting 100s’. etc. and the message ‘you could always improve’ has always been etched into my memory. so when it comes to grades, i’m VERY self-critical. i’ve always had pressure to be top of the class, and seldom i get a bad grade, i’m teased from teachers, parents and peers alike. so when i got home, i basically had a mental breakdown and cried for like an hour over a literal 65 :)))))) also in the history class, i had to stop myself from crying MULTIPLE times cause most people in my class are like ‘dont cry over exam results cause they aint worth it’ but i literally just wanted to jump off of the stairs so i didn’t have to be humiliated.

oh yeah i’m also mortally terrified of being moved down a set in math cause of my 74 on the calc paper (even though everyone in the year knows that the teacher is crap and my mom had a bunch of meetings with him and his boss) cause ive always been in top group so being moved down would actually destroy me yay

anyway i’m going to go write a story about hell, and hopefully i will post more in the summer 😀


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂


365 Qyestions (May)

Ok so I’m SORRY I PROCRASTINATED so hard making this post lol. I’ve been sick and covered in work, so I kinda procrastinated this oops. Anyways, here’s my monthly post to save my dying blog he. Also, follow my stan twitter account – @screamtrenchh_ because I retweet good stuff there AND FOLLOW MY MAKEUP INSTAGRAM @samantha_beautyxcc because i post emo makeup looks 😀

Let’s get started waheyyy

1) Who was kind to you today?

Idk??? I didnt interact with many people today – but my mom ordered a bunch of food for me 😉

2) Who is the last person you spoke with?

My mom

3) What makes you feel alive?


4) The store I frequent the most is:

Probably Boots or Primark to be honest

5) How did you relax today?

I slept in until 8:30 and stayed in my bed watching youtube for an hour

6) Describe your favourite pair of shoes you own

White and black checkerboard VANS

7) What rule had the most impact on your day?

I have no idea haha

8) How many pairs of shoes do you own?

4 – my vans, some sneakers, school sneakers and school shoes

9) Today I lost:

The ability to breathe through my nose (I’m sick lol)

10) I really wish ____ hadn’t been invented

Guns; it’s a useless invention that’s only used to kill people

11) What’s the most expensive thing you own and can carry?

Probably my phone (£700-800)

12) How much money is in your bank account right now?


13) Why was today unique?

Even though today is Sunday, it’s not the end of the weekend because tomorrow is a bank holiday wooo

14) What did you leave undone today?

literally everything oops

15) Today, the weather was:


16) What was in your email today?

Nothing because my email isN’T WORKING

17) What do you wish you had said today?

I don’t know lol

18) What was the biggest decision you made today?

Deciding to make this post hehe

19) What are you waiting for?


20) What’s the truth about today?

That today isn’t the end of the weekend 😀

21) What’s the last thing you settled for?


22) Describe your day in a six-word sentence

whydoihave to use a slowashell laptopthatwonteventypeinsync

23) What was the last thing that hurt you?

My laptop that actually can’t type at a decent speed and i lowkey want to burn it hhhhh

24) Did you use your time wisely today?


25) Did you have a dream last night?

I had a dream that my mom dies :/

26) Where do you wish you were?

Shopping (~im basic lol)

27) What music did you hear today?

My BOPPING playlist

28) What did you have the most fun doing today?

Anything not involving my crap laptop :DDDD

29) What do you love the most in your morning routine?

Doing my makeup because i can watch crackhead videos

30) What hobbies do you have?

Blogging, writing, listening to music and dong makeup

31) What was the lowest point of your day?

Making this post because of my crap laptop (no, I’m not letting this go)

Ok I’m going to go because I’m really frustrated with my laptop so cya bros 😉


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂

What I got for my 14th birthday 😎😎

I actually am posting this (around) the time of my birthday, and by that I mean the same month lol. My birthday was a couple of weeks ago so I thought I would do a ‘what I got for my birthday’ post 🙂 Also, I really want to do tøp and p!atd concert posts so they might come soon

Anyway, I turned 14 on the 4th so I thought I would show you what I got (lowkey jealous of my 13th bday haul but I’m really grateful for the stuff I got and also my uncle hasn’t done the annual shopping spree because he isn’t in England until June yay)

Let’s go because I’m rambling lol

I’m going to organise these into catagories of when I got them, because i got some on a birthday sleepover, some on the day and some on a shopping spree from my parents so yeah


I went to a P!ATD concert because they were touring in the UK (even tho I already saw them in Reading lol) and the date was 8 days away from my birthday and my parents are cool hippies so they said I could go (they read my posts lol) and I also got this amazing hoodie but it was £50 🥵

Birthday sleepover

On the 2nd-3rd of April I had a sleepover with 3 of my closest (real life) friends and they got me cool stuff so here it is heh

From one of my friends I got an eyeshadow palette and an ELF lipstick which are both p cool 😉

From A (from the ouija board post) I got this sweater because she said ‘I think it has something to do with emo’ ha

From my best friend (from the matlock bath posts) I got a dan & phil phone case and phil’s doodle planner because we both watch (& obsess) over dan and phil heh

Actual birthday presents

My main present was the Alex 9 drawers from ikea because i’ve been begging for them for like 3 years and my parents finally let me have them yayyy

From my grandma I got 2 pixi mists because the milky one is my all-time fav skincare product and the pink one I also wanted because one of my fav instagrammers recommended it and i love the smell lol

From my grandma as well I got the pixi glow tonic because I originally wanted to get this in my xmas shopping spree but they didnt have it oops

From my parents I got the mario badescu aloe spray because I ran out

From my parents as well I got the Mario Badescu drying lotion because it was recommended and I LOVE it

From my parents I got the anastasia dipbrow pomade because I really wanted a good brow product (it is so good and i understand what people were saying when they said that they couldnt live without it lol)

My parents also got the Maybelline great lash mascara for me because Issy Walsh (aka my fav youtuber) recommended it

I also got the Urban Decay Naked reloaded palette because i’m an Urban Decay junkie and have all of their palettes but I dont really like this lol (the original Naked is the best)

My parents got me the Clinique take the day off balm because i was begging for it too lol

My grandma got me airpods 😀 (they’re fake but they actually work ha)

My dad got me this beatles hoodie because Ive been listening to them for 9 years and still have nO merch (I had merch when i was like 5 lol)

I also got this hoodie because it’s really cute merch from a youtuber called tea spill and its cute lol

My dad got me bohemian rhapsody on dvd because it’s one of my fav movies and I nearly cried when it ended (I cry at nothing heh)

Shopping spree

I got this foundation because I ran out of it (I got it last year in my bday haul)

I got pretty much the whole revolution conceal and define range because most of it isn’t in my shade oops

I got the too-faced foundation because it was hyped and I wanted something from too faced

I also got the classic all-nighter setting spray because I’ve wanted it for forever but never had the guts to buy it lol

I got this random maybelline mist because they had a deal so i got this for free waheyy

I got this revolution lipstick for free because I spent over £12 on revolution

I got the Urban Decay mini heat palette because I really wanted to try it but I didn’t know if I would like it (spoiler: I do but because it’s more autumnal I dont reach for it much)

I got this cetaphil cleanser after seeing so many people recommend it ha

I also got this facemask for the same reason

And this moisturiser

Finally I got some cutlery holders as makeup organisers for my Alex drawers

So that’s my birthday haul, hope y’all liked it 😇

I’m also doing an updated beauty routine because I like those posts and I havent done one in a while (it’s also been 2 years since my original yay)


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂

365 Questions (April)

Ok, so it’s literally my birthday in 5 days as I’m writing this (Today is March 30th and also (one of) my best friend’s birthday 😀 ) and I saw P!ATD like 5 days ago and I’m literally sitting in the hoodie that I got from the merch stand and I love sm. I’m also meeting one of my internet best friends on the 9th and I’m excited af for that tooo 😀 Also I’ll probably do another what I got for my birthday because I can.

Anyway let’s be cringey and do the questions uwu

  1. Did you make someone laugh today and was it intentional?

Nah because I ain’t a comedic genius

2) What makes you sad?

The fact that my hUE bridge broke and now i have to wait for my cool lights to come back

3) Was today typical? Why/not?

I guess, because I do the exact same things on Saturdays.

4) Who do you trust the most?

I don’t really trust anyone lol

5) What’s your next major deadline?

I have a big history presentation on the 26th that I’ve been preparing for since January (wish me luck lol)

6) What did you have for breakfast today?

2 crumpets and a glass of milk (I wasn’t that hungry but I made myself eat something)

7) Do you have any regrets today?

Not really I literally did nothing today lmao

8) How did you add art to your life today?

I watched the Sia music video trilogy

9) What makes you happy?

The constant reminder that we will become extinct as a species

10) When was the last time you danced?

Around 8:00pm in my room lmao (it’s 10:00pm as I’m writing this)

11) List the people you live with 

My mom and my dad

12) What fears did you have today?

That my goddamn bridge won’t arrive on time

13) What did you forget?

I forgot to charge my phone last night and I woke up with it on 20% (it’s almost 90% now tho)

14) What is your favourite TV show?

Dance Moms, The Simpsons, Daria, Futurama, OITNB and The Umbrella Academy

15) I have faith that:

The sun will explode and kill all life on this planet

16) Who is the last person you kissed?

My mom lol

17) What did you wear today?

I wore a pink t-shirt with a fall out boy hoodie and leggings but now I’m wearing pink sweatpants and an Interactive Introverts T-shirt

18) What is testing you?

Philips because my hUE BRIDGE ISNT HERE

19) What is the oldest thing you’re wearing right now?

I’ve got a scrunchie in my hair that I wore when I was like 7

20) List 3 things you should have done today

-Organised my makeup
-Spent time with my mom
-Eaten a bigger breakfast (I didn’t eat for like 5 hours after breakfast oops)

21) Where did you spend most time today?

My room lol

22) Share a favourite quote

“If it doesn’t matter in 5 years, don’t worry about it now”

23) Who did you worry about today?

My grandma because she had a *mild* heart problem

24) Were you creative today?

Not really lol

25) What’s the next major purchase you need to make?

Don’t really have one :/

26) What was the last thing that made you cry?

Listening to ‘legend’ by top when thinking about my dead grandpa (the first time I had to deal with a dying relative)

27) Today was tough because:

It was lowkey boring

28) Who are you jealous of?

A lot of people but I’m not naming anybody

29) Where do you want to go next?


30) What did you read today?

This question sheet

Anyway, those are my questions lol. I’m going to go because my laptop is slow as hELL and I’m bored as hell too.


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂






365 questions tag (March)

It’s actually mid February as I’m writing this but whateverrr

I also met theoddonesout, somethingelseyt and tomska on Saturday so I’m probably going to do a vidcon post but I’m not really into blogging atm so I’ll probably do it when I have the energy and time to do it.

SKRRRR onto the questions

1) The funniest thing you heard today

A meme? I dont hear things oops (Im not deaf i literally woke up 2 hours ago and basically listened to fall out boy for those hours)

2) If you could have a new talent, what would you want?

I would want to be able to do gymnastics/contortion because ever since I was a little kid I’ve wanted to be super flexible but I’m not lol

3) Who is your best friend but not your spouse?

My best friend has appeared in my most recent Matlock Bath posts :))))))

4) What do you wish you had left unsaid?

A lot of things but I can’t remember them atm and I also don’t have the effort to write all of them

5) What was the first thing you ate today?

Rice Krispies for breakfast

6) Are you saving or spending?

SPENDING because I can just wait until xmas/my birthday for expensive stuff

7) On a scale of 1-10, how clean is your house?

Hygenically- 8
Organisationally- 4 (my house is a mess lol)

8) What is the last song you listened to?

The take’s over, the break’s over (Fall out boy)- I’m listening to this right now lol

9) What relaxes you?

Daydreaming, playing phone games, listening to music

10) What is the most valuable thing you own?

My stuffed rabbit because I’ve had him since I was 1 month old and the store that sold him went out of business over 10 years ago

11) What did you find inspiring today?

I was binge-watching Eve Bennett’s study with me’s (2017 xmas ones) and they are super motivational so I guess those?

12) Are you happy?

I’m content but not overjoyed

13) How much ‘me’ time did you have today?

So far, only like 10 mins because I’ve been powering through my to-do list and I’ve almost finished my half term one (It’s the first day of half term today lol)

14) List three things you have faith in

I don’t have faith in many things

15) Who is the last person you said ‘I love you’ to?

Probably my mom

16) Did you seize any opportunities?

Yes, by doing all of my to-do list in one day

17) Where did you go today?

The kitchen and the bathroom

18) What advice were you given?

That a B# is a C natural

19) Today was:

Productive (It’s not even midday though)

20) What are you glad you did today?

My history homework which is 2 weeks overdue :/

21) When/where was your last vacation?

I’m technically on vacation right now, but my last proper abroad one was when I was 7 and I went to disneyworld florida

22) The greatest wisdom comes from:

Nobody 😀

23) Who is your hero?

Gerard Way (surprise), Tyler Joseph (surprise) and my best friends

24) Why?

Gerard came clean off of drugs in 17 days, Tyler is 30 and didn’t think he would live until 18, and my friends because of their stressful af lives and they still manage to be there for me (that’s corny but it’s true)

25) If you could have read oe person’s mind today, who would you choose?

I know who I would choose, but I’m not saying because of personal reasons

26) What was the easiest thing about today?

Math revision

27) Did you thank anybody today?

I thanked my dad for telling me that a B# is a C natural

28) Did you work hard today?

I finished my to-do list in 2 hours

29) What was in your mailbox today?


30) Today was a complete:


31) What are you seeking?


Anyway, those are my questions for March. I only have an English essay to write and then I’m done wooooo 😀


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂

365 Questions (Part 2)

Hello my friends, I’m back after like 3 weeks and I’m here to do the next tag of 365 questions 🙂 Also, I’m literally seeing theodd1sout on the 17th (I’M FREAKING MEETING HIM SKSKSK) and TOP on the 27th and I’m highkey dying :))))))))))

What is the most expensive piece of art you own?

A priceless minimalist version of the three little pigs, written by 6-year-old me:

Wolf – ‘I’m going to get those pigs!’
Pigs – ‘Oh no, please don’t get us!’
Narrator – ‘But the wolf didn’t listen, so he got the pigs’

What was the most expensive bill you paid last month?

Probably my netflix bill lol

What’s the last thing you apologised for?

Probably bumping into someone because I’m a klutz

My favourite colour is:

Teal and yellow

On a scale of 1-10, how bad is your health?

Physical: 8/9
Mental: 6 😀

If you could do today over, would you change anything?

Yes, but I’m not saying because it involves specific people

Name a person you didn’t want to deal with today:

I don’t have one lol

What’s the largest TV screen in your house?

We have one TV, so I guess that one?

What time did you go to bed last night?

10:15 ish

What did you buy today?

Nothing :/

I wish I had:

Good math grades 🙂 (I get like 10% on my homework but I’m in top group oops)

How many photos did you take today?

Probably like 1

What book are you reading right now?

Road of the Dead by Kevin Brooks (I’m reading it for a book club bc my friends and I started one because our school has NO academic clubs 🙂 )

Last thing you wanted but didn’t get?

A friendship with a super ex-popular girl (I’m working on it though)

What mood were you in today?

Not a very good one at the end of the day, but it was ok the rest of the day

What was the last new thing you tried?

Pig skin (spoiler: I didn’t like it)

My biggest hope is:

To meet/work with people I idolise now (that will never happen though)

What has challenged your morals?

I don’t have morals

What car do you drive?

I’m literally 13 but I want to drive a Nissan SUV

List your pets

-Feline cat, black and white, of male gender

What are 3 things you need to buy?

Black shorts, a hue strip and some eyeshadow

Today I felt secure knowing:

I have reliable friends

Whose life did you make a difference in today?

I don’t know oops

What is your superpower?

Hating every book I read (minus about 5)

What is annoying you?

My hair and eyebrows :/

What stresses you?


Those are my Feb questions, I have to go because my laptop is slow af 😦


~bloggerofthebloggish  🙂

Let’s rant about school

Ok, so I feel like actual crap right now because I PROMISED myself that I would do some writing and (hopefully) finish my Spanish project. Well, I did neither of those things and was actually (physically) beating myself up for it so my dumb a** thought ‘let’s rant about school and writing and how I feel underappreciated by the English department!1!1!!!1111!!‘ So that’s what we’re doing today 😀

Ok, so a few months ago, we had this external poetry competition about peace. We had a woman come in and talk about the competition and that sort of left a mental scar on me. She was the kind of flake that would gush over someone that wrote something like ‘peace is happy like a flower’ but get mad at actual, well-written work about peace. So, my depressing self wrote a poem about a girl who was stranded in war and was writing about everything she sees and how it links to war. I was genuinely proud of my poem and thought it stood a high chance of winning. Like, it was a well-written, structured, advanced poem. I didn’t even get highly commended :))))))))))

Like, this happens every. single. time. I enter a competition. And I’m actually sick of it because it’s not just me that actually liked my writing. Every person that’s read my writing in front of me said it was very good and advanced. People have messaged me regarding my writing on this blog and told me it was really good. Either those people are lying to me and I actually suck at writing or people who judge the competitions I enter don’t like my writing. Apparently, it’s because my writing is too depressing and unconventional, but who won the Carnegie medal of 2014? A writer who wrote a book where everybody died a horrible, graphic death.

And I genuinely think my writing is good. Call me egotistical, but I genuinely think it’s good. And it’s disappointing when I submit stories I wrote outside of school to my English teachers, only to have the paper come back covered in corrections. I’m not trying to say that my writing is perfect because it definitely isn’t, but it hurts when you put effort into a piece of work only for it to get overlooked and passed upon in exchange for something that uses less advanced structure, techniques and plotlines. Like, it’s frustrating and there are times when I start crying because of how people disregard my writing.

Ugh i dont even know anymore maybe i should stop writing


The Makeup Tag

Ok, so I decided to do this because I wanted to do a makeup themed post and I had no idea what to do because I mainly just wanted to say…

I’m an al0haglitz promoter 😀 I talked about them in my beauty routine back in July and I’m finally a promoter and I’m quaking sksk I’ve wanted to promote for them for months. (they only ship to the UK but its worth checking them out because you can get their eyeshadows for £0.90/each with my code SAMSGLITZ.

Anyway let’s go to the actual content because y’all know I’m very deprived of that 🙂

Do you remember your first makeup item?

YES! It was a bright red lipstick for like £2 from this brand called ‘natural collection’. It’s a makeup brand that only uses natural ingredients (they’re not that good, to be honest, but they have good blush and lipgloss) and it was really bad and smelled rank :/

Describe your perfect mascara 

I think my perfect mascara would make my lashes look very curly and long, but also making them thick and clump-free. Like a mascara that looks like natural falsies. I think the closest I’ve found is the too faced BTS mascara, essence lash princess mascara (the green tube) and the benefit roller lash.

What kind of coverage do you prefer in a foundation?

Lately, I’ve been digging a light/medium coverage but in general probably a medium/full coverage.

Favourite high-end brand?

Urban Decay or Clarins (they do bomb lip oils)

What cosmetic brands have you wanted to try but haven’t?

Laura Mercier, Tarte and others but I can’t remember them atm

Favourite drugstore brand?

Probably makeup revolution, Maybelline or Rimmel

Do you wear fake eyelashes?

Noo, my eyelashes feel disgusting after I wear them and I suck at putting them on

Is there any kind of makeup you don’t leave the house without?

LIP OIL. Even when I go to school without makeup, I still slap some lip oil on because it’s amazing. My fav formula is the Clarins lip oil and I *accidentally* might have bought all 9 shades :/

What is your most cherished makeup product?

Either my lip oil collection or my urban decay naked palette (the original but my whole collection is close to my heart)

How often do you shop for makeup?

Probably at least once a week but I don’t always buy stuff

Do you have a ‘beauty budget’?

Pretty much my allowance (£40/month) but I’m known to overstep it a lot :/

Do you utilise coupons/rewards etc?

HECK yeah. Actually, not really because I don’t have a boots or Superdrug card but when they do 3 for 2 deals or free gifts then I take advantage of that

What type of product do you buy the most of?

Probably foundation, lip products or eyeshadows

Is there a brand you can’t stand?

Probably Revlon because their products are way too overpriced and they aren’t very good quality/don’t work for me

Do you avoid certain products in makeup?

Only lanolin because I’m allergic to it but that’s more skincare

Do you have a favourite place to shop for makeup?

Probably Boots because they have NYX and self-serve machines

Do you like trying new skincare products?

Yes! My skincare routine changes all the time but my skin’s actually not too bad; it just gets dry sometimes but I rub vaseline all over it every night so it doesn’t actually matter

Favourite bath and body brand?

Bath and body works, but for my UK folks, probably vaseline lotions and original source body wash

If you could only buy from one brand, what would it be?

Urban Decay, because all their products (that I have) have been insane and I feel like they’re pretty unproblematic and have rave reviews on all of their products

What brand do you think has the best packaging?

Probably either Urban Decay or Rimmel because I love their powder packaging (like on the stay matte powder) but the only problem is that it rubs off quickly

Do you belong to any online makeup communities?

I’m an al0haglitz promoter (SAMSGLITZ for ££ off (I’ll stop now)) but that’s pretty much it

5 favourite beauty gurus?

Jeffree Star, Nikkie Tutorials, James Charles, John Maclean and Tati (I used to like Jackie Aina but I got bored of her and lost respect for her anyway)

Do you like multifunctional products (eg. lip/cheeck tints)

God no, because most of the time, the product isn’t even good at either task

Are you clumsy at putting on makeup? 

I think I used to be but now I mastered the proper instagram foundation application (putting the pump directly on the face) and now I’m like a racecar because I take like 10 minutes to do my makeup now lol

Do you use eyeshadow primer?

Most of the time I use concealer, but I use Urban Decay Primer Potion when I remember

How many hair products do you use typically?

I brush my hair and (sometimes) use hairspray if I do a bun because my hair is notorious for falling out

What do you apply first, concealer or foundation?

Foundation, because that’s how I learnt

Do you ever consider makeup classes?

No, because I don’t want to go into cosmetology and can learn plenty for free online

What do you love about makeup?

I think it makes me more confident, because I can change my features to something I feel comfortable in (because there are several features of mine that I definitely want to hide), and it’s also just a fun, creative, easy art that is a good outlet of mine

Sorry I was so quick but my entire body hurts and I really need to go to bed 🙂


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂

365 Questions (Part 1)

I’m going to be a cool blogger kid uwu and do a 365 questions tag every month (Im doing these on new years eve but im scheduling them so i have content)

What is your number one goal this year? To get over my toxic friends

What are you most grateful for? That I’m going to a ton of concerts and we can afford it

Are you content right now? Yeah I guess

What is your best memory of 2018? Either the reading festival or the sleepover with my two best friends

What was the last major accomplishment you had? Either being able to count to 100 in 4 languages (thats not major but whatever) or passing my grade 4 flute

What possession could you not live without? My phone (i know thats basic but whatever)

Can people change? Is Earth a planet?

What was the last ‘good’ thing you ate? Taste-wise, chicken nuggets but health-wise, probably turkey or something I’m not healthy

What is your current favourite snack? Chocolate rice krispie squares

What made you smile today? Thinking about vidcon or memes

What’s your favourite accessory? Scrunchies? i don’t wear accessories

What is making you mad? The fact that toxic people haven’t had karma (i dont believe in karma but whatever)

What did you have for dinner today? Chicken nuggets

What did you get done? I cleaned my room and im going to try and do some homework tonight

Who last called you? My best friend but i never answer my phone because calls are disabled lol

Who are you in love with? A person

What are you grateful for? Concerts, friends, vidcon and travelling

What was the best part of today? Sleeping until 11:00

What’s your current favourite website? or

What was the hardest thing that you’re dealing with? Toxic ex-friends

Today I wish I had more… food (im actually so hungry right now and i had literally no food today)

Tomorrow will be better because… it’s NYE tomorrow and I can stay up until 12 in my regular clothes (i go to bed at like 9)

What made today unusual? I slept until 11 which i’ve never ben able to do and was a goal of mine for a long time

What are you looking for from life? Complete contentment

What is your favourite thing to drink? Blood or milk

Today the temperature was… 9 degrees C

How much did you spend at the store last time you went? Like £4 lol

Tomorrow I will… do my spanish project 😦

What was your last major purchase? Checkerboard VANS (im so basic lol)

My house is a home because… I’ve lived here all my life

Who was the last person to tell you that they loved you? Probably my mom

I really need to go and my laptop is lagging so im going to end this quick. Happy 2019 bois.


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂

Did you know I write?

I’m back bois with some writing 😀 Also I broke up for Christmas today and I’m planning on being a sedentary being the whole holiday so maybe I will post idk yet. Also, my report came so I’ll probably do another grades post :/

I went on a bit of a writing hiatus and haven’t really been writing that much, but I actually managed to pump out some stories so here ya go 😉

TRIGGER WARNING: Some/all of these stories contain topics regarding abuse, death and drugs so don’t read on if you will get triggered by these topics 🙂

Continue reading “Did you know I write?”

I’m not a festive person

Ok so a lot happened during this past month, but I’m pretty impressed with the way I’m handling things. Since I don’t want more people up my back, I’d just spare you the details and say that friendships were lost, bags were bought and advent calendars have (not) been bought.

I’m actually coming to my senses and I’m not pouring out my feelings to people who don’t care 😀 I just bottle it up and listen to happily existential songs to resignate with my decreasing will to live…

Actually, that’s not true. For some reason, I’ve been in a good mood and normally when I lose a very close friend I would be crying for weeks and texting them like crazy trying to make up, but I only cried for about two days and just found new (better) friends and took myself off a lot of group chats. So I consider myself handling this situation well. I’m finding new hobbies and focussing on myself for once and doing things for myself 😀

I thought this was actually the trough of my school career, but I’ve found myself with better friends, more motivation and less need to control what I say to people which is a good thing because my humour is basically gay, emo, existential jokes and I actually found a friend who has the same humour as me 🙂

I’m also seeing Billie Eilish next year 😀 (I’m not a huge fan of her but she’s at the Reading Festival 2019 and I’m going anyway to see TOP).

Anyway, I’m not a festive person. We don’t have our tree up, we don’t have any decor up, I haven’t even done cards or shopped for presents. Aka, I’m unprepared 🙂

I’m not really a big Christmas person, to be honest. I find it very stressful because I’m now in charge of shopping for my friends but all their presents are very expensive (and there are like 7 people to shop for :/ ). In addition, we have family coming over and that’s always very stressful because I get very self-conscious about my MD (even around my parents) and my anxiety, and my house is tiny. So basically I’m either going to have to admit to them that I have this ‘mental condition’ or just hide in my room all day 😀 (I got told off last year for doing that). On top of that ( 🙂 ), I’m not a huge fan of most Christmas food and I don’t want to embarrass myself by having a ‘special meal’ (I’m also VERY self-conscious of my food and eating habits, and hate eating around people I don’t know and will skip meals if it means I have to eat in front/with people I don’t know).

I prefer my birthday because it’s always in the Easter holidays (I was born on 4/4) and I pretty much get the whole day to myself where I can do whatever I want. I can go shopping and spend £200 and not feel guilty (I do anyway), I can have fast food all day instead of going to a restaurant, I get presents just for myself. This sounds really self-centred (and it is), but I just think it’s nicer because it’s all my day instead of a ‘family’ day.

You probably know (and if you don’t go to my December archives) that I suck at socialising in the Christmas time so everyone #prayforbloggerofthebloggish 🙂

Hopefully you will have a better Christmas than me and I’ll probably post an Xmas haul soon


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂

Unpopular opinions

Don’t get mad at me in the comments because I’m just saying my opinions 🙂

  • French fries are horrible
  • I consider non-binary and intersex gender identities
  • I believe in 4 genders
  • I don’t really like Antonio Garza, but I love Emma Chamberlain
  • Racism isn’t just directed towards black people; anyone can experience racism
  • Cats are MUCH better than dogs
  • I actually like some k-pop songs but the fandom turns me away from it completely
  • I prefer youtube over TV/Netflix
  • I don’t understand -kin and think it’s bullcrap
  • Gender and sex are different things
  • Oppression can happen anywhere
  • Pink and Sia are very underrated
  • Brynn was the best dancemoms girl
  • Jojo Siwa isn’t that annoying
  • Vessel is better than Trench
  • I actually like school
  • I like Taylor Swift
  • I’ve never been interested in Ariana Grande and haven’t heard the new album
  • Swearing doesn’t equal stupidity
  • The cream in an Oreo is disgusting
  • I used to like Harry Potter but I think it’s boring now
  • Men and women are literally the same except for genitals
  • Rape can be done by anyone, to anyone
  • Mother Theresa was a murderer
  • I prefer Jake over Logan (even though I liked Logan, I stopped supporting him at the start of the year)
  • I don’t like 6ix9ine or X
  • My birthday is better than Christmas
  • I don’t like anime
  • I don’t like chocolate chip cookies
  • Dark chocolate is horrible
  • White chocolate is nice
  • Cadbury chocolate is horrible

Those are some of my unpopular opinions 🙂 please don’t go at me because these are only my opinions and everyone has their own

Let me know if you want a part 2


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂

Let’s talk about Maladaptive Daydreaming

So idk what this post even is but i think its going to be a mix of me b*tching about my mental illness but also saying how great it is because honestly its probably one of the best things that ever happened to me lol.

So i’ve told my parents that i have this (like i literally have every symptom) and they don’t want to believe the fact that it actually has significance, but i’m going to try to explain myself and say that this isnt really normal.

According to , these are the symptoms:

  • extremely vivid daydreams with their own characters, settings, plots, and other detailed, story-like features

Anyone who knows about my current daydream knows that i literally went so far as to create a daydream of my character’s social media profile(s) and daydream about what’s on their phone

  • daydreams triggered by real-life events

Lol on halloween i had to go outside and daydream about my character literally on halloween

  • difficulty completing everyday tasks

*cough* Ya girl didn’t revise because of this and also had to rush my morning routine so i could go daydream

  • difficulty sleeping at night

Not all the time, but a quite a lot, i purposely wake myself up when i’m about to fall asleep because i’m having such a good daydream (only when i have good night-daydreams tho which is pretty rare)

  • an overwhelming desire to continue daydreaming

The only reasons i stop daydreaming are if my butt hurts from sitting down too long, if i get too cold/hot to the point of i can’t daydream or if i need to go do something

  • performing repetitive movements while daydreaming

I either walk up and down my garden or push myself on a swing for like an hour straight

  • making facial expressions while daydreaming

I pretend to be my character and i pretend to be her posing for pictures so i think if you watched me daydream you would see me doing a duck-face or some other pose lol

  • whispering and talking while daydreaming

Not all the time, but i do mouth a few lines of dialogue if its an important line or if i won’t be able to keep track of it in my head (i.e. if its continuous dialogue from just one character)

  • daydreaming for lengthy periods (many minutes to hours)

Normally i daydream for around 50 mins at a time, but on a non-school day i do this at least 3 or 4 times, and these 50-minute incraments can be even longer if i’m bored or if i have a really good plotline

So now that we’ve figured out that i have this thing, let me tell you about what it does/my thoughts on it

  • I feel like my grades are dropping because i don’t really study for tests because of this
  • I get a lot of low motivation periods which i now realise are longer and more frequent than they should
  • I don’t have the energy to do things i used to do, like playing the flute or writing
  • I get really restless/irritable if i don’t daydream and get yelled at as a result
  • Normally in the mornings i try to pick out a nice outfit, and do my makeup nicely etc but now i just rush it because i want to daydream and then i don’t like my appearance for the rest of the day
  • If i go on a walk to daydream (basically when i walk to/from school), I get really anxious around strangers because i don’t want people to see me staring at the ground mouthing words to myself
  • I don’t want to not have this though, because i feel fulfilled from it and i consider the people in the daydreams like my friends or alternate personas
  • However, i do want this to be a more on-command thing because even though i want to daydream, i don’t want my brain nagging me to the point of i have to sacrifice my grades and hobbies for it
  • On a positive note, i actually kind of like having this because i feel like it helps me be creative and in class i know how to effectively daydream to control my boredom

I also wanted to say something about my parents again and how they handle it (again) because i just want to

Back in March (i didnt even know i had this but this is when it was kind of obvious especially when i travelled because thats when i most commonly daydreamed (either travelling or walking because i didnt use the swing yet)), my dad and I went to Liverpool and he had this whole thing of ‘don’t be plugged in all the time and actually talk to me’. The thing is, i don’t daydream when i’m walking with other people, only if im on a moving vehicle.

To make things a bit easier, these are the times i can daydream:

  • On a swing (from May 2018 though)
  • Walking alone
  • Travelling in a moving vehicle
  • Sitting in class (rarely)
  • Listening to music in bed (also rarely for day-daydreams)
  • In bed

So I would have talked to my dad anyway when we were in Liverpool. On the train ride there, i was kind of ok, but i was still a bit restless and kinda wished my dad would give this up

On the second train to liverpool (we had to take a seperate train to another liverpool station) i finally made my dad crack and give me my phone but i could definitely tell he wasn’t happy about it

I know my family and probably people i know don’t like that i act like this/think this is weird but let me just say that my brain literally tells me all the time that i should go and daydream, and this feeling doesn’t stop until I go and daydream. It’s not a matter of ‘if you want to, you can go daydream’; it’s ‘you have to go daydream’. This isn’t easily controllable and it also isnt something that started/will go away overnight.

Thanks for reading this post lol i wanted to make this for such a long time because i just wanted to talk about it and i think i have quite a severe case (especially since when I started using the swing back in May) and i wanted to talk about it because i dont think my family and people around me understand this fully and don’t believe me when i say that this isn’t normal.


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂

I saw Bohemian Rhapsody

Ok, so I just got back from the movies because today I saw Bohemian Rhapsody, basically a movie about Freddie Mercury and his life in Queen. Being a huge Queen fan, ya girl had to go see it so I’m going to give you my thoughts on it even though nobody cares 😀

Let me give you some background because music is a big part of my life and I just wanted to talk about this because I feel it adds more to the movie ‘review’ if I talk about this.
I was brought up listening to 70s pop. Like, until I was around 11, my main bands of choice were The Beatles, ABBA, and Queen. I was never into current pop until I started Senior school, and then mid-way through year 8, I discovered Emo music, so my music taste has always been a weird hybrid of rock and pop. I am a huge Queen fan; I’ve loved them for around 4 years and even though I don’t listen to them as much now, I’m still a lifelong fan and still group them with my favourite bands.

Now that that’s out of the way, let me actually talk about the movie.

This is my first ‘grown-up’ movie; it had swear words and sex scenes in it, unlike the other movies I’ve seen before. At the start of the movie, I was kinda bored because it focused on the beginning a lot and the relationship with Mary Austin, which was very fascinating to me but I don’t want to give spoilers so I’m not saying anything.

The movie also focused on Freddie leaving Queen and the way that it looked to me, it reminded me of stuff that’s been going on in my life lately. The way the situation panned out, the way Freddie acted reminded me a lot of me and what’s been going on with regards to my friends. That kind of reassured me, because if Freddie can get through something like that and everything regarding his love life, then I can too. That sounds really corny but I’ve really felt alone with regards to my feelings and what’s been happening around me over the past few days, and I feel like I needed that ‘he’s been through this and still made it, so you can too’ kind of message. Freddie reminded me of myself a lot because his leadership, impulse and general sparky attitude reflect my own traits almost uncannily so I think I connected to this movie in a way and more than others normally would.

In general, I thought the movie was absolutely magical. Being such a fan of Freddie and ‘learning’ that he faced the same issues I face now, it isn’t a movie I’m going to forget soon, and it might even be my favourite movie.

I also feel a connection with the movie and Freddie’s ‘storyline’ because I feel it relates a lot to myself and I’m literally about to cry because I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone I idolise so much have such a similar personality to me, and being someone that typically strays away from societal norm, this was an implicit message I really needed to hear.

Before I finish this post, I just wanted to say thanks to everyone involved in the movie, and to Freddie because even though I’m just one kid, your movie really helped me find myself and have someone to relate to when I feel as crappy as I do. Thank you so much, and just remember that you’ve helped at least one person.

I’m literally going to cry I loved that movie so much.

~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂

Stuck in a rut

Ok so im sorry for venting a little again but this feeling has been dragging me down all day and i feel like i dont know how im meant to react/feel or what im meant to do because

Actually let me explain

When I feel like being a human, I (like most people) have lots of hobbies, including:

  • Writing
  • Listening to music
  • Daydreaming
  • Playing flute
  • Makeup
  • Organisation (ordering etc)
  • Bingeing youtube videos

Etc etc

Lately, this is what ive been feeling

  • I dont want to write (I have ideas/prompts on my pinterest but i havent had the energy to write and i lost my ‘touch’ (basically when i use advanced vocabulary and immerse myself in my writing to make it 1000x better))
  • I like listening to music but i cant think of any daydreams to go with them (bc y’all know i daydream obsessively)
  • I dont have any good day-daydreams (which is really bad because they’re really easy to come up with)
  • I haven’t touched my flute all holiday
  • I have to do a music project (which i would normally like to do because i like projects) but ive only done 1 page and i havent even SCRATCHED the surface of the project
  • I can’t think of any good makeup looks and keep doing the same brown/gold look every day
  • I organise too much (which is bad for me because even though i love organising i also hate having new layouts all the time (even though i love the process of making new layouts) because i like semi-consistency)
  • I couldn’t sit through a 10-minute youtube video made by (one of) my favourite youtubers and im not really liking the youtubers i normally watch
  • All ive been doing is checking my phone anxiously waiting for a reply from someone who i think hates me because she hasnt read my texts but shes been online but she hasnt said that she hates me but she hasnt said that we’re cool either
  • I went shopping a few days ago and i spent loads of money in a high-end shop and didnt get a buzz like i normally do when i buy literally anything

I dont know if this is hormones or something else because i still have another week of half term and i dont want to be unmotivated for school

I also feel really scared because i cherish my holidays and i feel like this one is slipping right through my fingers while i watch

(Update- apparently the girl that im waiting for a reply from is mad at me but SHE DIDNT TELL ME AND NOW I AM PISSED BECAUSE IM NOT A F*CKING PSYCHIC)

I feel like im about to cry now thats great

Ever since this school year started these 2 girls in my friend group have pretty much turned on the rest of us and the group is falling apart and i dont want to lose my friends




Ok so im gonna vent a little bc ugh my mental state recently hasnt been good so heh imma talk here

My mom is randomly pissed at me today. I was getting picked up by one of my friends to go to another friends house and I KID YOU NOT like 5 seconds before my friend arrived this was our conversation (i’m in bold btw)

‘Text me when you get there’


‘You better text me when you get there!’

‘I said fine’

(Cue my mom getting pissed at me)

Then when i got home, this was the convo between my mom and i (im in bold again)

‘How was *blank’s* house?’

‘It was cool. We talked about how this family is cheap (idk why i said that ugh)’

(Cue my mom slamming the kitchen door in my face and not talking to me. I get that i shouldnt have said the cheap thing but what happened next was totally uncalled for in my opinion)

(Im in the kitchen making some food and my mom walks in, im in bold again)

‘Are you mad at me?’

‘No’ (but like in a ‘yes im mad’ tone)

‘Are you mad at me?’

‘No. Just the usual’

‘whats the usual?’

‘You know what the usual is’

‘Uh, no i dont’

‘I talked to you today for five minutes and most of that was you complaining about how i do things wrong (it wasnt) so why would i want to talk to you?’

(Cue my mom walking out again)

Also, one of my friends started a prank and got me basically roped in and at the end (aka last night) she told me to roast her really hard and see how the rest of the group would react. They got pissed (obvs) and this girl idk if she even wants to talk to me because ive been left on read but one of the other girls sent me screenshots and she said that the girl was fine?

So right now i feel really empty and i feel like i shouldnt talk to anyone because it will make them angry and i shouldnt tell how i feel to ppl because ill sound like a victim and im already complaining

Im sorry i just feel so empty and sad i really want to talk to someone but theyre probably going to get mad at me i feel so sad


Friend drama

Ok so im doing this on my phone because i dont want to use my laptop so uh sorry if my grammar sucks.

Basically my friendship group is falling apart and ugh im kinda in a bad place rn so i really want to vent on here.

Before we start, im kinda surprised that im not completely breaking because by this time i would have broken out the scissors (yes i use scissors not knives because uh my parents should NOT see me trying to make blood come out of my arms) but idk i dont feel that broken, just like numb.

Drama 1

Ok, so there’s been this thing where me and A (from the ouija board post) have been gossiping about this girl K (thats not what her name starts with but it makes sense if u were in the friend group before the end of august) because she has this tendancy to make things about herself and since we had a big fight in the group i havent really been on her side and consider her toxic because she does cause a lot of emotional turmoil and she has lots of symptoms of being a toxic friend. Me and A decided to just stop gossiping and tell K. We told K in a music room in school, along with 2 other friends there (imma call them W and E). K saw us and was playing the piano, not stopping (we kinda told her that she was being toxic at lunch before this), even after A told her to stop. It got so bad that E had to physically unplug the piano. A and I were angry because K started crying and making a big scene and we kinda wanted to put our input. K went on a crybaby rant because we asked her to apologise for basically abusing us (theres lots of stuff that K did to us that was wrong) and she was like ‘sorry for existing’ and BOI I GOT PISSED. I was practically shaking with anger and K wanted to talk to us on monday (aka tomorrow bc this convo happened on friday) but A and I knew full well that she was going to blow us off so HEH thats a friendship gone.

But like our whole class is on mine and A’s side so i guess we’re doing something right.

K, if youre reading this, please grow the f*** up. You are being immature and you need a dose of reality.

Drama 2

This one didnt directly involve me but uh its about the group chat AGAINN 😀

So there are 4 people involved: Me, W, H (idk what to call her ok) and S.

Even though we’re all close friends on the group chat, me and H are really close and W and S are really close. Basically a fight breaks out between W and H which ends in H telling W to go kill herself. I was doing homework when this happened and i was kinda reading the messages not knowing what to do. H and W left the group chat and basically were pissed at each other. S was pissed on H but idk i was kinda on H’s side because she has the same kind of mental health traits as me (aka also broken like me) and I kinda have a crush on her so i didnt want to leave her side. Im still cool with S and hopefully W.

H isn’t friends with S or W anymore and tbh i feel like the group is falling apart. It’s only me, A and N (the girl from the matlock bath posts who i will call N because thats the initial of a nickname i give her) left completely and we’re having a big sleepover (me, N, A, S and W) in a few weeks and i dont want this to fail. I decided to not invite H because it will be awkward. Im not directly in this so hopefully it will be ok.

Anyway gtg im on facetime with someone and its awkward because im not saying anything lol


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂

I really need to vent

Ok, first of all, sorry for being absent for like a month. I really wanted to post but I never had the time/effort/courage to but today I am literally dead and I really need to talk to someone so um here ya go my doots 🙂

1) My school 

Ok, so if you know me IRL or have been stalking my school posts, you know I go to an all-girls private school. I like going to an all-girls school, because I went to a co-ed school until year 6 (5th grade) and honestly I would get pissed off all the time because of the boys. I don’t like a lot of boys. First, they kinda scare me because they are quite irrational (in my opinion) and chavvy (also in my opinion, and this isn’t about all boys, just ones I see a lot) and also we can talk about girl topics openly in school because *cough* we’re all girls so nothing’s bad about that.

Guess what? As of next year, my school will be a mixed school. As in, girls and boys. Now, they’re only joining in 6th form/years 12-13 (11th-12th grade) and year 7 (6th grade) and I’m going into year 10 (9th grade) next year so they won’t be in my year. I’m not sure how to react because on one hand, it will be kinda cool having boys and the ones I see will be in year 7 but one the other hand, I don’t think my anxiety is ready for that and also, my school turned 125 years old i think last year or the year before, and it’s always been a girls school, so it’s kinda just telling the entire school history to f- itself.

And this is kinda stressing me out because I don’t know how I’m meant to react because I’m not mad but I’m not happy, but ugh I don’t know how I feel and the fact that I don’t know what I feel makes me mad because I like lots of definitive conclusions.

2) Food

This is kinda the same as school because it’s about school food and I know my school reads my blog so if you’re not going to listen to the rest of us at least listen to this.

Not. One. Person. Likes. The. Food. Like, that’s easy. Every single person I talked to about the food hates it. Let me just put everything into bullet points because there’s a lot of stuff wrong with the new catering system.

  • There are lots of unnecessary fruits/vegetables in already healthy food
  • Break time snacks aren’t even food anymore, and when they are, they are poorly made and flavourless
  •  Even the bread is given strange ingredients that make me retch every time I eat it
  • The sandwiches are put in sweet/dessert buns and the buns are flat anyway
  • Leftovers are thrown away. I’m talking a whole tray with 100+ servings of fish was dumped in the trash even though it was fresh
  • We don’t have pizza anymore 😦
  • There are days when there is nothing to eat besides the main meals, which are unpopular anyway and *cough* I’m allergic to the ingredients anyway so THANK YOU FOR THE NUTRITIOUS MEALS, and I literally have to go without lunch and break some days because the food isn’t a) good by any standard or b) even food

I’m not being dramatic here; but school pretty much makes you eat food you don’t like because there isn’t enough (or any) decent food. And guess what? We’re not allowed to talk about food in student council. Ok, school. Riddle me this.

If everyone complains about something that they literally pay for and this affects their health, mental wellbeing and concentration, should you:

a) Do literally nothing and laugh at our misery
b) Make said thing free
c) Actually change the things that receive complaints

At the moment, my school is literally doing nothing and I’m really pissed about that.

3) Friends

Ok, so there’s this one girl in my “friend group” and she is the kinda girl who has mood swings over literally nothing. She didn’t talk to me for a week because I didn’t go to her netball match and ‘I don’t care about her enough’. Ok, sherlock. When we talk about someone else’s problems, this girl always turns the attention to herself and tells us about how she’s the kid crying in the corner while everyone else gets attention. But when we talk to her, she doesn’t want to talk to us. Then after a week of ignoring us, she wants to be our friend again with no explanation? Then this whole thing happens all the time because of something literally minor. Like, I’m kind of over her. I know how this girl works; I’ve been friends with her for 7 years, and this happens all the time. And I’m frankly, sick of it. I’m sick of the things it does to me, I’m sick of her narcissistic attitude and I’m just sick of it. I was going to the school field with one of my actual friends and this girl walked up to us and was like ‘can I follow you?’. I didn’t say anything but my friend and I rolled our eyes hoping the girl would kinda buzz off. My friend had only been at the school for a few months, and even she was sick of this girl. Like, I feel like I’m being mean but I’m walking through lazers every time I talk to this girl. After 7 years, I’m sick of it.

4) Music

Ok, so the new twenty one pilots (aka a band I’m obsessed with) album dropped today and tbh I don’t like album release days. I like listening to the same some over and over on repeat so I can properly dissect it, construct daydreams for it etc, but on album release days, I’m kinda expected to listen to the whole album in one go which I don’t do unless it’s a CD so I can listen to the CD in the background when I’m doing homework, organising my room etc. I’ve heard all the pre-released songs (duh) and love all of them, I’ve listened to Morph and dissected it and IT’S AMAZING. I also saw the new music video and am SHOOKETH and am using it as pretty much one giant whump prompt.

Also, I started listening to mid Panic! albums and am obsessed as well. I’m listening to ‘Too Weird to Live, Too Rare to Die’ and tbh it’s way more salty than v&v. (If you don’t know much about panic! then sorry lmao)

Imma be cool and basically summarise each album because why not.

– Emo
– Fall out boy has song title competition tbh
– Literally written with a dart board and dictionary

Pretty. Odd.
– Literally gayer than the LGBT+ flag
– Literally more beatle-y than the Beatles
– Last album with my boi ryro (cri)

Vices & virtues
– Written by a victorian
– Nobody knows any songs from it except the ballad of mona lisa and Sarah smiles
– Kinda like a revenge album (not MCR related revenge lmao)

Too Weird to Live
– Saltier than the sea
– Bisexual as hell
– Yes we love loud chorus starters

Death of a Bachelor
– The whole album is a giant bop tbh
– Either sinatra or a strip club song
– My fav panic! album personally

Pray for the wicked
– Brendon just saying how he’s Satan for 35 mins
– Also a giant bop but not as much as DOAB
– Literally no colour scheme just PUPPETS.

Ok, so that was pretty much it. Sorry that this was a really long post. I’m thinking of doing in-depth album and song summaries because that sounds cool. I’m going to go because I have a headache and I’ve been writing this for 45 mins and I’m tired.


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂

I have another mental disorder :D

Ok, so this one isn’t technically as much as a mental disorder as things like depression, OCD etc but it’s becoming more recognised as a mental disorder so why not write about it?

So, if you’ve been a long-time follower (or just stalked my archives) or have seen my daydreaming post then you know I love daydreaming. I have loads of OCs and scenarios that I just switch to. My main OC (called Chelsea) is a ‘better’ version of me – she is really sporty, really smart, very tough etc. She also has really severe depression (due to her past) but we will just leave that now lol. I imagine Chelsea as my ‘alternate persona’ – she doesn’t take crap from anyone and is pretty much fearless. I sometimes use her behaviours in real life because I’m literally such a pushover/doormat. I’ve had this ‘alternate persona’ for years – even before I created Chelsea, I had loads of alternate personas that all had the same set of behaviours and I thought this was normal, since all my friends have OCs and I know a lot of people that have vivid daydreams. The thing with me, though, is that I always sense that things in my behaviour are off, but nobody actually cares enough to listen and assumes that it’s just normal. So I start to think that. So when I say to myself ‘hey, I don’t think I’m right’ – I feel like I’m going to be labelled as an attention seeker because I’ve always been told I was normal. Tonight I was on pinterest and saw this post:


I was literally SHOOKETH because I had this for years, since I was like 5. So it definitely wasn’t brought on by hormones. I googled maladaptive daydreaming and found this:


I read the paragraph and I’ve never related to something so much in my life. I’m not trying to be funny I’m actually serious. I have made myself cry as one of my OCs, I have thousands of unfinished stories in my head, I’m always lost in my daydreams. I thought it was normal, since I’ve done it for so long. I can daydream for hours at a time with no problem. When I’m on my own, I pretend to pose/act like my characters would. I literally had no idea that this wasn’t normal. I also take my day’s events and turn them into daydreams for my OCs but also change them a bit. For example, I started school yesterday, so I imagined one of my OCs starting 9th grade (Year 10) after being off for over a year due to work (this OC is a dancer btw). I literally thought this was normal. Because I would tell people that I don’t think it is normal, then get told that it is normal, then not find out that it isn’t normal until years later, normally coincidentally on tumblr or pinterest. In the article that the paragraph above is from, it says that people with MD (maladaptive daydreaming) spend around 4 hours a day daydreaming. That’s pretty accurate for me; on weekends I spend around 4-5 hours a day daydreaming (I think), and school days, around 3-4 hours. (This is when I actually have proper daydreaming time with music, not counting the times I daydream in bed or when I just wake up.) I also read on the same article that people with MD are ‘drawn’ to daydreaming in a compulsive way. I HAVE LITERALLY NEVER UNDERSTOOD SOMETHING MORE. When I’m getting ready in the morning, I have this weird urge to go daydream outside and that means I kinda rush so I can go daydream. I literally never thought this was normal.

I also read that it can affect my day-to-day life, which is probably true and literally all the sources I’m reading says that I need to ‘control’ my daydreams but I get really sad because I created so many fictional utopias and I don’t want them to go away in an instant. I don’t want to abandon so much that I’ve created, and even though they’re only in my head, they seem real and kind of like a coping mechanism. When I’m upset or anxious, I just drift to my fictional universes and I don’t want all that to go away in an instant. So I’m not really sure I want help for my disorder because it literally depresses me to the point of tears when the thought of abandoning my characters comes up.

I definitely have this, and I think I have the extreme version because it says that in the most extreme cases, people can daydream for 4+ hours a day, which is pretty accurate for me. I also read stuff from people with MD and they said some daydreams involve their own lives and some involve random people. I’ve had daydreams about how outings with friends or get-togethers will pan out, but sometimes I shift to my different utopia, although in my fictional utopia, I sometimes insert other real-life people in there. Apparently there’s also a strong link between MD and OCD and we all know how I did on that quiz…

One of the strongest symptoms of MD is repetitive and unconscious movements while daydreaming, and I normally sit outside on my swing when I daydream, and I subconsciously push myself with my right foot without even feeling it. I have to push myself every single time though otherwise it just feels weird.

MD is also associated with ADHD, anxiety, depression and OCD so get ready as I embark on this mental health rollercoaster 😀 (Actually I already know I have anxiety and I probably have depression and OCD but I don’t actually know and I definitely don’t have ADHD because I can be still/quiet for a long time). Also, 28% of MD people have attempted suicide. I haven’t attempted suicide but I’ve definitely considered it at least over 20 times and I’ve self harmed a few times.

Anyway, that was my discovery of my new mental disorder 🙂 Stay tuned to see if I have anything else *gulp*


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂

The first day of school post that everyone wants to see

Ok, so I just started Year 9 (8th grade) and let me give you the classic, first-day of school post that everyone’s been waiting for. My last first days of school haven’t been good, so expect this to be slightly more positive than before 🙂

For the first time in literally forever, I finally have a group of friends in my class. I have a group of friends, but they’re either in the other form or a year ahead so I’m kinda alone. The girl who I did the ouija board with only joined my school in May and we formed a group with another girl already in the friend group. We claimed a 3-seat desk in the form room, not thinking we would have to change seats (we got to choose our seats last year), but the form tutor decided that there had to be a seating plan, even though we only spend like 20 minutes in the form room each day. I’m sat near one of my friends in my group and the other people around me are really nice, so I’m not that mad.

I was freaking out last night, like I woke up at 3AM and 5AM, both absolutely terrified, but whenever I freak out/stress about something it actually turns out well so I guess this was kinda the same thing 😉

Our first ‘lesson’ was a double form period, where we have around an hour in form at the start of each year to get timetables, locker keys, planners etc and I DIDN’T GET A BOTTOM LOCKER 😀 I had one for 2 years and it was literal hell, but this time I got upgraded to a middle locker and I’m on the end so I get space, which was different from last year where I was stuck in the middle of everyone. I also share the locker area with Year 8s so I can just assert my dominance *insert T-pose here* and it’s all good. My timetable isn’t the best, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as my year 7 timetable (it literally sucked) and I was really worried about getting spaces in the changing rooms for PE but the changing rooms have been upgraded so there is actual space.

I got top set in both English and Math (yay) and I was really scared I wasn’t going to be in top set for Math because my report grades weren’t amazing, but I did get a higher score than most people on my end of year exams last year so I think it adds up.

Our first lesson was DT (design tech/wood shop) and our teacher wasn’t even in school so we had to wait forever for the cover teacher to show up. Our lessons are only just over an hour long so we wasted time but I’m not really good at DT so I don’t really care haha. I got to sit next to my friend from my group and I actually made a pretty good mindmap.

After DT, we had break but my friends and I didn’t go because it was so crowded and we didn’t even like what they had for break anyway, so we went to sort out our lockers, and when I tried closing my locker it wouldn’t shut. My friends tried and they couldn’t shut it, so me and one of my friends went to get a new key while the others guarded my locker (I’m not leaving my locker open with an iPhone 7+ in there). I managed to get a new key that actually worked so yay.

Then we had ICT, where we are working on a program I literally used like 4 years ago and the whole lesson was my teacher talking even though he said he wants us to explore the software ourselves. Even though I love ICT, I’m kinda scared for this year because we have a different teacher and my other one literally doted on me so I hope this one does too 🙂

After ICT and lunch (where we literally didn’t do anything interesting), we had RS (religious studies) where we were talking about opinions, debates and judgement and had some grade-A debates about whether we should eat meat. We normally had 2 singles but now we have a double which is sad because I don’t really like RS and I like to have singles because they’re shorter.

After RS, I literally went home and that was it.

I actually loved my first day at school, which I normally don’t (read this post and this post to understand) so this was a step-up. I’m actually excited for tomorrow but we have the same teacher for 2 periods (aka 2hrs 20 mins) and she’s really strict so oof.


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂

OCD test

Ok so I’m watching a ‘day in the life of someone with OCD’ where basically they walk to school and they have a little inner voice narrating the video and I related to a lot of the things the guy was doing, so I decided to write out the symptoms and see if I do/have these things. Also I start school tomorrow rip.

• Fear of being contaminated by germs or dirt or contaminating others

I’m not a germophobe but when I get home I always feel ‘dirty’ and don’t feel comfortable unless I’ve washed my hands

• Fear of losing control and harming yourself or others

Literally me at a train station; I’m terrified of jumping onto the track, and I get terrified if myself or anyone else is close to the track

• Intrusive sexually explicit or violent thoughts and images

I have a group chat with some friends where we talk about sex all the time oof

• Excessive focus on religious or moral ideas

Idk about this one but I have been thrown into a lot of religious arguements from my dad

• Fear of losing or not having things you might need

Me every day before walking to school

• Order and symmetry: the idea that everything must line up “just right”

If anyone looks at my room they will see that it’s organised but I also get stressed if everything is too precise

• Superstitions; excessive attention to something considered lucky or unlucky

I don’t really believe in supersitions

Common compulsive behaviors in OCD include:

• Excessive double-checking of things, such as locks, appliances, and switches

Idk if I do this, but sometimes I do

• Repeatedly checking in on loved ones to make sure they’re safe

Lol not me at all I never check up on people oops

• Counting, tapping, repeating certain words, or doing other senseless things to reduce anxiety

I DO THIS SO MUCHH I find patterns in literally everything in my garden, and I do things like this to reduce anxiety (but it’s patterns rather than counting)

• Spending a lot of time washing or cleaning

That is me so much

• Ordering or arranging things “just so”

I have different orders/combos but I do like to order/arrange things

• Praying excessively or engaging in rituals triggered by religious fear

I’m not religious

• Accumulating “junk” such as old newspapers or empty food containers

I do this a lot, but only if the container is unusual to what I normally see

So idk if I have OCD (I probably don’t) but I do relate to quite a lot of symptoms, but that’s probably because I have anxiety tho. If I do have OCD, it’s going to be a mild form

I also did a test and this is what I got so idk let me know because I have no idea lmao

Rip me tomorrow in school 😭


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂


School thoughts

Ok, so I really wanted to write this because I feel really nauseous and stressed and it’s like 11pm and I’m trying to keep my sleep schedule good for school so I just need to get some things off of my chest and talk about school because honestly I want to talk about school.

I found 20 questions from: because I can’t think of questions and I want to answer some questions 😉

If you’re wondering, I’m starting Year 9 (8th grade) and it starts on Thursday (30th) because we break off for summer really early (in England anyway).

  1. When did you start school? Do you remember your first day?
    I started school when I was 4 but I started the school I go to now when I was 7. I remember my first day of my current school but not of my first school. All I remember is a picture of me in front of my school and I had a horrible fake smile lol.
  2. How far did you have to travel from home to school? How did you get to school?
    I’m a lucky person because I only live a 15 minute walk to school (10 minutes if I walk fast or I go the shorter route) so I walk because I hate taking the local bus and my parents don’t own a car. (We live really close to literally everything so it’s not that big of an issue)
  3. Did you enjoy school life? What did you like and dislike about it?
    Generally, I enjoy it because I actually like lessons and it helps a lot when I get into a lesson because it distracts me from my anxiety but I don’t like anything that involves talking in front of a lot of people or anything to do with sports.
  4. Who was your favorite teacher? What do you remember about him or her?
    My favourite teacher in primary school (elementary school) was my year 6 (5th grade) teacher because she doted on me and I just loved her. My favourite middle/secondary school teacher would probably be my history teacher because I’m also doted on by her and she’s just a nice unusual person.
  5. What was your favorite subject at school? Why?
    My favourite subject was always computing because I just had a natural passion for it. I also really like Math but nobody else does so that’s kinda sad. I also like Spanish because my mom knows Spanish so I get a leg-up on everyone else 😉
  6. Did you have to wear a uniform to school? If so, what did yours look like?
    YES. I have to wear a uniform (almost all English schools require uniform), and mine is basically a dark blue blazer and a dark green plaid skirt. I actually quite like the uniform even though it’s really posh (I go to a private school so obviously it would be posh).
  7. What are the pros and cons of uniforms for school kids?
    Pros – you don’t have to choose an outfit, you don’t get judged. Cons – it can be really boring and if you don’t like your uniform that’s tough luck.
  8. How many children were there in your class? What is the best number of students for a class?
    In my class for next year there is 23 people which isn’t too bad but when I was younger there was like 15 people.
  9. Did you go to any academies or receive any tutoring outside of your main school?
    I took music lessons in school but with private teachers to learn an instrument but I didn’t take tutoring for subjects I was already studying because I get good grades anyway.
  10. What did you and your classmates do during your lunch break?
    In summer, we normally played tennis on the courts but in winter we sit in the library and talk because the couches are really nice there haha.
  11. Was there bullying at your school? Did you have to deal with any bullies?
    At my first school, yes. I kept getting punched every day but in this school not really, because my school is pretty small and I’m pretty unpopular so I don’t get in too much drama.
  12. Did you get a lot of homework?
    I get around an hour-1 1/2 hours of homework a night, which I actually enjoy because I get really bored in the evenings so homework gives me something to do.
  13. How much sport did you do at school?
    We had about an hour and 45 minutes of PE a week, plus sports day and house sports, but I pretty much only did the former because I never signed up for any extra sports because I SUUCK.
  14. Was art a significant part of your schooling?
    We had art classes and we had art competitions quite a bit, so I guess.
  15. Did you learn any practical subjects like woodwork or cooking? What do you think about that kind of practical education?
    We did DT (design tech) and FN (food nutrition) each for half a year and I liked the subjects but the teachers were pretty hit-or-miss.
  16. Were your schools single-sex or co-educational?
    My first school and part of my second was co-ed, but my secondary school is an all-girls school.
  17. Were you involved in any musical or theatrical performances at school?
    I’m not a drama kid, but I play two instruments in school so I did a lot of musical performances.
  18. When students behaved badly, how were they punished at your school?
    We were given ‘penalty points’ and if you get 3 in one term, I think you get detention and a phone call home. Or we were just yelled at to shut up lol.
  19. What do you think about physical punishment?
  20. Did you ever skip school? What did you do instead of going to school?
    I’ve skipped school to go on a family reunion/holiday and I’ve also pretended to be way sicker than I was so I could stay home sick. I’m glad I had a fake sick day though because that’s when I discovered emo music and now I’ve never looked back.

So that was a little questionnaire and I’m just going to list my thoughts randomly because I just want to say them.

  • I’m excited to come back so there will be a new group of year 7s (6th grade) to boss around.
  • I’m kinda scared about not being in the top math set for next year because I’ve always been in top set and my report grades weren’t that good.
  • I’m hoping my timetable will be good next year.
  • I’m hoping I will finally get a top locker (I’m literally the tallest in the year group and I’ve had a bottom locker for 2 years) because the school is moving around a bunch of lockers and we’re all swapping anyway.
  • Basically, on the day before the first day of school, the year 7s (6th grade) have an induction day, where they get their locker key, timetable, planner etc (even though you get those in double form period from year 8 (7th grade) anyway, but those form periods are used for ‘settling in’ in year 7 anyway), and I’m going to be a troll and walk past my school on the induction day; no uniform, headphones in and hopefully troll the year 7s that know who I am.
  • I’m hoping I won’t get an anxiety attack in the middle of form period (I did last year and I just sniffed my hand sanitizer until it went away (it’s a eucalypts-scented one)).
  • I know I’m going to be in top set English next year (I got good exam results and really good report grades, not to mention getting level 7s and 8s on my assignments (8+ I think is the highest you can get) but the teacher is way too lax and I’ve had her before and I’ve been bored throughout all of her lessons. And I only had her for a double period a week, now I’m going to have her for 2 double periods. Apparently top set English is fun in year 9, according to my friends (who are starting year 10/9th grade).

Those are pretty much all of my thoughts for next year, but expect a first day of school post either on Thursday or the weekend because I will want to share a lot, basically my timetable haha.


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂



Ok, so yesterday (25th), I went to see one of my favourite bands, Panic! At the Disco and UGH I HAD SUCH A GOOD TIME. I’ve been hyping this up ever since the festival was announced a few months ago and I’m on my way back and slowly dying because this is over. I’m seeing Panic! again in March tho (for my 14th birthday) and I’m also seeing Tøp in February. Anyway, I had never been to a festival or concert before, so let me tell you about it 😀

Here is all the songs that Brendon aka Beebo sang (sorry if the picture sucks I’m on the train and was too lazy to make it look nice) (btw the songs aren’t in order)

I had to use a sticker because of my last name lol (also peep another panic! bop at the bottom lol)

When we got there (which took like 3 hours lol), we went to ‘the pit’ and saw this band called Bloodyouth (idk who they are) and I saw like 2 minutes of them but they were pretty good.

We went to the main stage and this guy called NERD was playing and my mom and I were just clapping awkwardly because we didn’t know the songs. I was actually really impressed and might download some of this guy’s songs.

(Update: I found out this is pharrell williams lol)

Then, at 8:05, BEEBO CAME ON!!!!!!! I LOST MY SH*T AND WAS SCREAMING SO LOUD AYY. They also played my favourite Panic! song (Don’t threaten me with a good time) second in the concert so I WAS LOSING MY SH*T.

During the third song (Hey, look ma, I made it), there was a load of drunks at the back of the crowd (we were really close to the stage and in the middle of everyone) pushing so my mom and I had to squeeze through a million people to get space (we didn’t leave the crowd; we just left the pushy area) so that wasn’t that fun 😦

There was a girl passing out paper hearts and basically you shone your phone light through the paper during girls/girls/boys (basically that song is about LGBT and a pride anthem amongst us gay emos and Brendon (aka the whole band of panic!) came out as pansexual recently so this song holds very dear to the whole fandom’s hearts) and YA GORL COPPED ONE. There was a girl behind me saying ‘oh my god, you got a heart’ so that was a moment of validation 🙂

Near the middle of the concert, it was really hot (even though it was outside) and I literally felt like I was going to faint/puke but I knew that if I left the crowd/had to go back to the hotel I would never live it down because it’s my first concert and I want it to be a good one and not be a wimp. I managed to hold out though 🙂

During the second to last song (Say amen/saturday night) my throat died but I kept on screaming anyway lol

I literally felt so happy because BRENDON WAS A PERSON AND NOT A VOICE OR PICTURE and I was just jamming out and sing-screaming

Ok that was pretty much me during the whole concert

Here are most of the pictures (I took a load of videos but not really at the end because I was too lazy) and one of them is even my lock screen 🙂

Ya gorl even got merch 🤘🏻😎

Here are the wristbands (I went to a MAC just before I took this and swatched a ton of lipsticks sorry) and IT WAS SO FUNN

Here are pictures of the merch I got 🙂

All in all, it was legendary and I lost my voice lol and I also didn’t sleep until and I woke up at 8:15 😀

I can’t wait to see panic! again in march and also tøp in february so expect blog posts about that too 🙂

Also school starts on Thursday (I’m writing this on Sunday) and I’m not ready rip. But the panic! tickets go on sale the day before school starts so I guess that’s something 😀


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂


AYYY It’s been 4 years! 😀 Before we start the special 4 year post, I wanted to be really corny and make this cute speech for you guys 🙂

I was a very cringey and unpopular kid, so thank you to people who actually followed me and cared about what I had to say because not many people did 🙂 Thank you to the people that commented on my posts, thank you to the people who wrote fanfics about me (you know who you are), and just thank you to the people who helped me get this far. I wanted to delete bloggish so many times and there were so many times when I just hated it and wish I could start over but I’m so happy I stuck with it because I made loads of friends and also learnt a bit about fandoms (DD fandom throwback), internet fights and just people in general. I also was kinda baffled that 13, 14, 15 year olds were actually friends with some 10-year old who was a socially awkward derp and didn’t really know how to act. This blog is my safe space, so thank you to the people that defended me and my space, and also the people who read my blog when I have mental breakdowns, because honestly, writing about these situations on my blog helps me see them in a different light and really helps alleviate my negativity.

Thank you for the most incredible 4 years. Ilysm 😀

Continue reading “HAPPY 4 YEARS :D”

How I daydream

I kinda wanted to do a daydreaming post since I’m pretty good at it and I wanted to share the ways I daydream just in case anyone is stumped on new ways to daydream so here we go.

(N.b: I consider a ‘daydream’ more of a storyline than thinking about random things)

Types of daydreaming (depending on what time it is):

Day daydream – Lively, more positive situations, not a lot of interaction, anger in some cases, usually involving my older OCs (Ages 10+), using music
Night dream (not a real dream in sleep) – Dreamt in bed, sad, more unfortunate situations, lots of interaction between characters, very cute/tender, usually involving my younger OCs (Ages 7-3), not using music

Conditions in order to generate daydreams:

– Must be moving
– Preferably a moving vehicle but swings work too
– Preferably fast (i.e. on a motorway)
– Must have music (music doesn’t have to relate to the daydream)
– Lighting doesn’t matter
– Must be outside/looking out of the window

– Must be still
– Always in bed
– No music needed
– Must have white noise (at home I generally use my air conditioner)
– Must be dark, but not completely dark
– Must have eyes shut, preferably facing the wall


Some songs are given a specific daydream (eg. song x will always make me think of daydream x), but some songs I leave daydream-less just in case I think of a new day dream but don’t have any fresh music to attribute to it, or if I want to think about something that isn’t one of my storylines. Alternatively, I think of some things (e.g. upcoming events) as daydreams where I make my own storyline based on said upcoming event. Once said event has passed, the song used has generally become a daydream-less song because if I listen to a song too much, I don’t like it anymore.

I always had this kind of structure for my daydreams but more recently I began separating them more distinctively and separating the conditions, differences etc. Also what annoys me about daydreaming is when people think every daydream is sitting in a beanbag listening to tranquil music. Music is the biggest part of my day-daydreams, and I have to listen to a specific song to think of a specific daydream, and 100% of the time the music is in no way tranquil. Most of the time the music is emo, but I do have some ’80s pop and current pop thrown in there.

Also, in around half an hour, a special anniversary post should be up so check it out 😉

(It should be up in around 33 mins, to be precise)

That’s basically how I daydream, if you guys wanted to know (you probably didn’t lol)


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂

Let’s talk about sexualities pt 2

Ok so last night i had a long talk with my parents and had a long think about my sexuality so basically heres some things i concluded

I don’t feel right saying im straight

I don’t feel right saying im homosexual

I feel somewhat bisexual, somewhat pansexual, and somewhat asexual

I don’t know if im demisexual but i feel like that could be a possibility

I feel somewhere between bisexual and pansexual but not completely one way or another

I read a bit about demisexuality and saw the ‘you choose to befriend rather than flirt’ and i literally thought to myself ‘i thought thats how you get a crush’ so idk

I came out last night (i didnt do all the research in one night because when i posted pt 1 i had already been questioning my sexuality for months)

I felt kinda sad at my friends reactions because i mentioned that it took a lot of courage to say and they kinda didnt really say anything so thats a bit disheartening

I dont know if this is my true label but i feel much better to have a label than to be ‘questioning’ but idk why

I came out to my parents and my mom was the only one who was nice about it bc my dad just said ‘you’re (x) then? {To my mom:} So do we need coffee?’

Idk if i should be grateful he wasnt angry but it took so much courage to find a label and conclude that i wasnt straight and also to tell my parents (who previously shut me down when i talked about these things)

So last night, I came out as polysexual because i feel somewhere inbetween pansexual and bisexual but i’m still somewhat questioning my sexuality

I hope you guys understand because this was the only place i felt comfortable talking about this kinda stuff 🙂


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂

Let’s talk about sexualities

Ok so sorry that this is my 3rd post of the night but i havent posted in ages so im making up for it 😀

So basically ive never really known what i am because when i was little i literally looked at women on tv and called them ‘sexy’ and ‘cute’ etc (not really knowing much about homosexuality/the lgbt+ community) and i think that might have been a random thing i did/have grown out of but i have more

I have a lot of friends in the lgbt+ community so i feel like i shouldnt be straight even tho i dont feel 100% straight

A lot of my OCs (aka my alternate personalities/other/dream versions of myself) are polysexual/asexual/pansexual etc and lets just consider that the ocs are other versions of myself that i want to be/am

I dont really want to talk to my parents/friends about this because i will feel like i will get told ‘you’re straight’ and will get shut down

I did a sexuality test and got this but i feel like i shouldnt be looking for non-straight labels because my parents shut me down and basically convince me that im straight or maybe im too young to identify my sexual label and will get told so

If someone can help me find what i am then that would help a lot

I dont feel straight but i dont know what i am so yea


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂


Ayy I’m bringing back the OG beaches from beach trips 1 (Skegness, Scarborough and Whitby) because I haven’t been to Scarborough and Whitby in ages and wanted to go again so here we go 🙂 (I have loads of pictures but I’ll probably do in-depth posts about each place and I’m also lazy because I’m writing this on my laptop and the pictures are on my phone) Also sorry for the format but I’m keeping it like the original post because I need to pay homage 😀

21st July I went to Skegness

1) Literally the best donuts I’ve ever tried
2) I went on 384949 rides in the theme park
3) I did an emo karaoke with my mom and we were pretty much screaming panic! songs while people stared at us weirdly

1) Ya gorl felt homesick (dk why tho)
2) The pier food wasn’t that good compared to the other places
3) My bodyboard broke 😦 (after having it since beach trips 1)

Skegness total score: 4.3/5*

9th of August I went to Scarborough

1) I learnt to skip rocks! 😀
2) I perfected my photography skills and took really cool photos
3) Also amazing donuts

1) The hill to walk up to the castle was steep and evil
2) Seagulls (aka spawns of satan) kept trying to get out lunch and sat on my mom’s head
3) Also felt kinda homesick

Scarborough total score: 4.7/5*

15th of August I went to Whitby

1) I didn’t feel homesick 😀
2) I didn’t get hypothermia 😀
3) I took 43242989 pics of the abby because it’s beautiful and so are the pictures

1) We had to leave the abby early because I needed the bathroom really bad and didn’t want to go back up the hill after
2) The restaurant we ate at was quite crowded and I didn’t finish my food
3) It was CROWDED AF

Whitby total score: 4.5/5*

The trips this year were quite close but I think I liked them a bit more this time because we went sightseeing rather than going to the beach and I’m kinda getting into photography because I completely filled my phone with photos (or maybe because I wanted to take advantage of the iPhone 7+ camera idk) I think I might go back to Scarborough (because it got the highest score) and Skegness (because I go every year and I love it) but maybe not Whitby because it was so crowded and you had to walk loads to get literally anywhere


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂

A day in the life of bloggerofthebloggish

Ok, so I have a lot of blog post ideas in the works but I only have about a week and a half left of summer vacation so idk if I will be able to post them all but hopefully I will do a short beach trips 3 and possibly some in-depth posts about each place and some other posts but tonight (it’s like 10pm) I thought I would show you a day in the life of me because I’m too lazy to do anything else and ya gorl loves morning/night routines 🙂

I decided to do a school day (and put in lesson times because why not) because normally my weekends aren’t that organised as school days where I literally have a specific time for everything but hopefully you guys enjoy it because I did a few day in the life posts a few years ago and I actually like them so please enjoy 😀

I also wanted to follow this routine for next school year because I want to be a good student *straightens glasses* Also, be prepared for this to be very long because I have long routines lol

Also also, my school finishes at different times depending on the day so I’ll show you a long day (Tuesday/Wednesday) where it finishes 25 minutes later than normal

6:30AM: I wake up but fall back asleep lmao
6:40AM: I wake up properly and check my phone because I’m basic af and also need something to wake me up even though I’m kind of an early bird anyway
7:00AM: I get up like a normal human and make my bed (in the dark, yes)
7:03AM: I go to the bathroom
7:05AM: I get dressed
7:10AM: I do my skincare routine & brush my hair
7:20AM: I go downstairs to make breakfast (literally a bowl of dry chocolate weetos because I’m lazy –  also idk if you have chocolate weetos in other countries but if you don’t then google it because they are literally the best)
7:45AM: I go to the bathroom (again) and also brush my teeth
7:50AM: I do body lotion, hand cream etc in my room
7:55AM: I put on my blazer and get my shoes, bag etc
8:00AM: I leave for school
8:15AM: I get to school and basically walk around with my friends until the bell
8:30AM: I go to registration
8:35AM: Assembly/form time (depending on the day)
8:55AM: 1st Period
9:35AM: 2nd Period
10:10AM: 3rd Period
10:45AM: 4th Period
11:20AM: Break (where my friends and I go outside because we are cool (no we aren’t lmao))
11:40AM: 5th Period
12:20AM: 6th Period
12:55AM: Lunch (basically where my friends and I go outside)
1:15PM: We actually go to lunch to avoid the lines lol
1:40PM: We finish lunch and chill outside
2:00PM: We get our books and bags for our next classes
2:05PM: Afternoon registration
2:12PM: 7th Period
2:50PM: 8th Period
3:25PM: 9th Period
4:00PM: School ends! 😀
4:15PM: I get home from school and get dressed
4:25PM: I eat because I don’t have big meals so I’m really hungry lmao (I’m the person that has lots of small meals rather than a few big meals)
4:50PM: I do my makeup (at my school you’re not allowed makeup but I still wanted to have my own ‘school makeup routine’ so I just do it at this time because I like wearing it)
5:00PM: I start my homework and put in a CD so I can jam as well (sometimes if I’m really bored I jam out to my songs in the middle of my homework oops)
6:20PM: I finish my homework (I actually do all the homework we were given every day except if it’s a project because I hate having things to do overnight because I get stressed about deadlines a lot) and pack my bag for the next day
6:25PM: I practice my flute like a good child
6:40PM: I finish my flute and have like 5 minutes before dinner so I normally check my phone at this time because even though I don’t use Instagram and snapchat anymore I still am on our class group chat and a lot of group chats which spam a lot
6:45PM: I have dinner
7:10PM: I finish dinner and either go outside if the weather is nice, or sit in the library and watch youtube/go on pinterest because I’m obsessed
7:50PM: I do my nighttime skincare
8:00PM: I have my shower
8:25PM: I either watch youtube or talk to my parents if they’re home lol
8:55PM: I brush my teeth like a good child
9:00PM: I do moisturising (basically a load of Vaseline on my face because my skin is really dry and I get paranoid if I don’t do it) and bodycare
9:10PM: I’m in bed but still on my phone lol
9:45PM: This is when I try to get off my phone but I actually don’t until around 10/10:15
10:15-10:30PM: I fall asleep

Obviously on the weekends I get up and fall asleep a lot later but they aren’t really organised but if you guys want me to do a weekend day in the life then let me know 😀 sorry if this post was quite long but I definitely will do a beach trips 3 and a first day of year 9 post (year 9=8th grade)

I actually feel good today so embrace it lmao


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂





Ok, so one of my best friends (not the matlock bath one) came over for a sleepover about a week ago, and she had come over on the Monday before that, so I kinda showed her around my room and stuff. Around April we were cleaning the garage and my parents found a proper ouija board. I’m that friend that loves anything horror and anything to do with the supernatural. I love knowing about weird demonic creatures and exorcisms but I’m not really a believer. I used the ouija board at around 3pm with my mom but nothing worked so it kinda stayed under my bed. My friend said we should use the board because her parents won’t want one in their house, so I was totally down. We basically binged scary stories until around 10:30pm when we decided to go downstairs and use the board. I never did a ‘proper’ ceremony with an ouija board but I knew you needed candles. We sat in the hallway because we were lowkey terrified and the hallway was the lightest room downstairs. We turned most of the lights off except for a candle I had bought literally the day before when me and a few of my friends (including this one) went around my friend’s village and kinda lurked the shops. I wasn’t convinced the board would work but we set up everything and gave it a shot.


We met this 10-year old boy called Ne and we basically had him answer some questions about us (he didn’t finish the answers but IT WAS LEGIT PEOPLE)

(I’m just going to refer to my friend as A because that’s what her name starts with so it would kinda help me type this conversation out quicker)

A: Do you want to answer some questions for us?
Ne: Yes
A: Where did my grandpa live when he was little? (Idk if that was the exact question but it was something along those lines, also I had no idea what the answer was so I wasn’t moving the planchette)
Ne: B-o-t-s-w-
A: Are you struggling?
Ne: Yes
A: Do you want another question?
Ne: Yes
Me: Where did my mom go on holiday when she was little? (My friend didn’t know this
Ne: C-
A: Are you struggling?
Ne: Yes
Me: Do you want us to leave?
Ne: Yes

So we left and spoiler alert: the answer to A’s question was Botswana and the answer to mine was the Crimea (a beachy place in Russia) I know mine isn’t as legit as A’s was but STILL.

We went into our library after talking to a few people because we got a bit more confident, and we talked to a few people before this one. Btw, I don’t remember the exact details of this convo so ye

Me: Is anyone there?
?: Yes
A: Do you want us to leave?
?: No
Me: What’s your name?
?: G-e-I
A: Can we call you G?
G: Yes
Me: How old are you?
G: 57
A: How did you die?
No answer
Me: Why did you die?
G: I did something bad
(We basically found out that she was given death penalty)
Me: Are you in limbo? (my friend didn’t know what this was) (limbo is basically half-alive, half-dead)
G: Yes
Me: Are you in purgatory? (my friend didn’t know what this was either) (purgatory is between heaven and hell – like the middle ground)
G: Yes
Me: Are you in this room?
G: Yes
Me: Where are you?
G: W-i-n-d-o-w
Me: If I look outside, will I see you?
G: No
A: Do you want to hurt us?
G: Yes
(we ask her questions but idk what they were so we’ll just cut to the interesting part)
Candle starts flickering wildly
Me: Are you in the candle?
G: Yes
A: Do you want us to leave?
No answer
Candle calms down
A: Make the candle flicker if you want us to leave
Candle starts flickering
Us: Goodbye
Candle calms down
That basically scarred both of us and I was even brave enough to look out of the window. We have a flower sticker on our window and my friend saw the shadow of it and started freaking out lol. I was researching people that were given death penalty in year x and my friend continued talking to the ouija board. We went to my parents’ bedroom and I tried to convince her to talk to some more people with me but she was kinda scarred and I said that we ended the session, we blew the candle out so there was no way she would get to us. We came to the conclusion that she was just some old lady who wanted a laugh.

Anyway, that’s my creepy af ouija board experience and I’m kinda convinced they work now but only at night with the candles etc.


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂


I’m so done

Yes. Another group chat fight 😀 With the same people I consider friends. Lol I love life.

So, I’m basically going to write out this conversation (I won’t be using their names) and let you guys be the judge. Let me give y’all the fake names (or letters in this case) so they don’t get all butthurt on me 🙂 Btw, these are initials for nicknames and most of them don’t share the same initial as with their first names.

There are 7 people in this chat:
K (The friend who basically caused this)
D (The girl from the matlock bath post)
W (One of the girls from a previous text fight)
Sl (An actual nice person)
I (Another nice person)
Sc (Who wasn’t in this text but she played a main part)

I’ll put in context after but this is basically the conversation.

D: Guys. I’m not going to be online tomorrow so someone check up on (K)
Me: K made me make this new gc btw
I: Seriously will people stop leaving chats for dumb reasons it makes no sense
Sl: This needs to be in the description (replying to I)
K: I left with reason, im not just telling it the people who caused this reason. So stop holding people hostage, that’s what it feels like when I leave and [me] is constantly adding you back without asking ‘do you wanna be put back on?’ And then when everyone is asking ‘r u ok?’ when they are the reason
Me: If you don’t like us you can leave the group. But the reason I’m adding people back is because I’m asked to
K: Well ask the person first. I’ll come back when I’m ready.
[K leaves]
Sl: Forget her if she doesn’t want to be put back on.
D: Ffs guys
Me: ? Don’t tell me you’re going to be a child and flip out [@D]
W: [@me] It does get annoying when you keep using the word ‘yeet’ and people have asked you to stop. I’m not saying that you can’t ever use it, but it gets irritating when you keep using it
Me: ‘Mkay Should we all take a hiatus?
W: If you want
Me: Should I just remake the chat in like 5 days or something?
W: We made enough new chats tho
Me: Only because people keep leaving (see my other gc fights to see what I’m talking about)
W: I give up

Basically me and Sc kept saying ‘yeet’ loads of times last night and K decided to leave.  I got pissed and basically texted her angry things but I deleted them before she read them. I feel like I’m playing the victim card but I feel like D (who is my ultimate best friend) and W are kinda against me and I just want to yell at something or someone tbh. They’ll probably make some dumb excuse as to why I can’t post this conversation on here and I’ll probably end up breaking again and self harming 😀

I’m just so done and I want everything to be resolved.

Any advice?


Matlock Bath (Part 4)

I went to Matlock Bath today again! 😀 I went with the same fren as my last matlock bath post. We basically spent the whole day in Matlock and went back to my house, only to have her dad running ridiculously late so she had dinner with us (and got disturbed by futurama) and we played the 7-second challenge out of boredom.

I have a lot of pictures so get ready.


Our train was late and I just got the new iPhone 7+ with portrait mode so we were being inspirational and using it (my friend loves portrait mode but her phone doesn’t have it). Btw, you probably already know this, but I’m the one with glasses looking like a derp and my friend is the one who actually looks pretty.


Here are some pics from the train and tbh I actually like my picture for once. Btw that’s not a real fitbit it’s just a £30 knockoff that does the same thing lol.


There were 2 playgrounds and one was like a more active one with a lot of slides and obstacles (my favourite one and I climbed up this climbing wall twice and got scared of the sliding pole), and the other one (this one) was more of an obstacle course (like a trail you had to follow with ropes and rope ladders). There was also a kids area with some ‘buses’ and a little kiddy playground that we couldn’t fit on. I was talking to my mom and my friend was like ‘SAM GIVE ME THE PHONE’ and I gave her the phone and she started bolting to the buses. I reluctantly followed and she was like ‘TAKE MY PICTURE’ so we took some semi-nerdy pics. There was also this little girl who was next to us and was slightly scared of us as she kept looking at us up and down and glancing at her mom lol.


There’s this place called ‘Grand Caverns’ and we took a tour around the caverns. The first 2 pictures are where people mined and where the caverns were eroded in the ice age, the next 4 are the areas where tourists were dumped in the pitch black with only a 10-minute candle lighting them. There were also light shows but they were just chandeliers. The last 2 are main mining areas as well but they commemorate the miners that worked there.


After the cavern tour there’s a hill called ‘Tinker’s shaft’ and basically it’s a huge cliff that looks over Matlock and the surrounding areas. There’s also a mountain nearby called ‘High tor’. These pics are basically us trying to be cool lol.


Then we went and looked at the history of the whole area and how the cable cars were made etc. Last year (bottom picture), we tried to get a picture of us as Victorian-esque people but it kinda failed. This year (top) was no better and tbh they are both pretty accurate recreations of each other lol.


This year we actually managed to get pictures of us and the views 😀 (look at matlock bath pt 5000 to see what I’m talking about). Hopefully y’all can spot the mountain in the 3rd picture.


I tried to get my friend in with the views but she’s v short and it kinda didn’t turn out how I expected lol


This is us in front of a 1984 cable car (we took this right before we left)



Lol we tried to recreate last years picture (bottom) but we didn’t have the picture on us. Nevertheless we took our (now traditional) point at the cable car picture 🙂


Enjoy this random selfie of us taken at a bus stop 🙂

Before I end this post let me just say that my friend gave me permission to use her face so don’t come at me in the comments because I have the receipts 🙂

I think this might become a yearly tradition for us now lol.


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂




That doesn’t sound like a lot but I’ve been striving for 10k since I started😄😄😄




Bloggerofthebloggish Beauty Routine (UPDATED)

Ok, so it’s been well over a year since I have done my last beauty routine, and a lot (if not all) my products/techniques have changed, so I think I would show you what I do most days for my makeup 🙂

DISCLAMER: I consider makeup a hobby, and do not feel the need to wear makeup to look decent; I just love putting it on for fun and genuinely consider it a passion, so before you leave a comment saying I am shallow, read this again until you are convinced. 🙂


Product: NYX Pore filler (Universal Shade)
From: Boots
Price: £12.50 (From the Ready, Prep, Go set)


This is the best primer I have ever tried; I used the Maybelline Baby Skin primer before but that feels slightly greasy compared to this. It’s also quite cheap (£11 for the full size) and it gets rid of any excess moisture/oils on your face.


Product: MAC Studio Fix Fluid (Shade N4)
From: MAC
Price: £23.50



This is such a good foundation, even though when I bought it, I hated it because of the smell and it looked really cakey, however this stuff stays on forever and erases any imperfections but makes it look natural and lightweight.


Product: Collection Lasting Perfection (Shade 0)
From: Boots
Price: £4.19


Everyone is obsessed with this concealer, and I can see why. It conceals amazingly, not just as an undereye concealer, but this is amazing for half-cut creases and I use this concealer all the time to cut the eyelid. And it’s also £4 a tube!


Product: Natural Collection Brow Kit (Shade universal)
From: Boots
Price: £1.99


I normally use the pomade and I literally need 2 strokes of it through each brow (I don’t do the whole hair stroke and Instagram brows thing) and my brows already look like my hair colour (my brows are very sparse and light so they look grey).

Setting Powder

Product: NYX HD Finishing Powder (Shade Universal)
From: Boots
Price: £12.50 (From the Ready, Prep, Go set)


This powder makes a really smooth and set undereye (I don’t set my entire face with it because my brush is way too small to set my whole face and the one that’s big enough to set my face easily doesn’t fit in the pan), but I haven’t checked for flashback (the loose version has flashback), but coming from a girl who literally never takes selfies I couldn’t really care less.


Product: Rimmel Natural Bronzer (Shade 022)
From: Boots
Price: £5.99


Ok, so I have tried the infamous Benefit HOOLA bronzer, but this is miles better than Hoola. First of all, Hoola is very dark (I know they have a light version but it isn’t available in the mini size and I’m not ready to drop £24.50 on a powder that I don’t even know works), and it has a very gritty formula which makes my cheeks look like mud. Every time I’ve bought stuff from Benefit, I have been disappointed as they do not live up to the hype. This one is half the size of the mini and is blendable, comes in lots of variants and shades and is just better in general.


Product: L’Oreal Life’s a peach blush (Shade Peach Addict)
From: Boots
Price: £8.99


I got this when I went birthday shopping because one of my favourite beauty instagrammers recommended this, and I was not at all disappointed. I have a MAC blush (one of their shades is comparable to this blush) and have been reaching for this one a lot more because it smells like peaches and is a really nice colour which I always wear because it goes with pretty much any look.


Product: ELF Baked Highlighter (Shade Moonlight Pearls)
From: Superdrug
Price: £5


When I bought this highlight (used by the same instagrammer I talked about before), I was slightly disappointed because it did not show up as expected when swatched, and when I used my regular packer highlight brush, it didn’t show up as blinding as expected. However, when I used my fan brush, it showed up very nicely and wasn’t too blinding, even though it was quite obvious. I’m not one for punchy highlighters, so this added just the right degree of glow. (And it also is a dupe for the MAC soft and gentle skinfinish, which I have and is about £20 more expensive than this)

Eyeshadow Base

Product: NYX HD Studio Photogenic Eyeshadow Base (Shade Universal)
From: Boots
Price: £12.50 (From the Ready, Prep, Go set)


I don’t really use eyeshadow primer that often, but when I bought the Ready, Prep, Go set, I used this primer and was impressed by how nice it felt and how well my shadow stayed on. I’m running out so I’ll have to buy a full size soon 🙂


Product: Urban Decay Naked Palette (Original)
From: Debenhams
Price: £39.50


I’ve wanted this palette since I got my naked 3 last year, and begged my parents for it, so when I got it for Christmas I was ecstatic. I usually take Naked and Buck into the crease and either put a glitter on the lid (like in this post) or Half Baked/Sidecar. This is such a versatile palette and I reach for it all the time for my everyday brown/gold look.


Product: NYX Glitter Primer (Shade Universal)
From: Boots
Price: £8

IMG_9412-10-07-18-09-47 (1).JPG

Product used: Al0haglitz Global Glitz Glitter (Shade Rome)
From: Al0haglitz
Price: £2.50 (& £2 shipping)


Before we talk about the glitter, I just wanted to talk about this brand. It’s a small makeup brand from Wales, where the site and products are all made/managed by one person. I love supporting small brands as it feels more rewarding when they notice each of their customers, rather than a big brand which only sees the numbers. When the brand had their big restock in June, this set (Global Glitz) was the first one to sell out, and I managed to get the whole set just in time 😀 This glitter is also stunning and there is such a good variety of shimmers and glitters on the website:

It only ships to the UK though.

Setting Spray

Product: NYX Matte Finish Setting Spray (No shade)
From: Boots
Price: £12.50 (from the Ready, Prep, Go set)


This sets all my makeup in place really nicely; it’s not too matte that it dries out my face (I have really dry skin), but it does look nicely matte. I used this before but then ran out and I’m also running out of this so I will need to buy the full size soon.


Product: Too Faced Better Than Sex Mascara (Shade Black)
From: Debenhams
Price: £19.50


This is my favourite mascara because it makes my already long lashes look even more voluminous, but it makes me slightly sad/scared to use it because I can sense it running out but I don’t think I’ll be able to buy another tube until Christmas because of the price

Eyebrow Gel

Product: NYX Control Freak Eyebrow Gel (Shade Universal)
From: Boots
Price: £12.50 (from the Ready, Prep, Go set)



Product: MAC Mini Lipstick (Shade Whirl)
From: MAC
Price: £10


This shade (a brown/dark rose colour) ties off my look perfectly as it is a darker lip and brown like my eyelids. The matte formula is slightly rough and drying but I usually put some Vaseline or lipgloss over it (not included in this look) and it feels much more comfortable.

And now, the finished look 😀

First, we have April 2017 me (aka the really bad at makeup me)


And now, July 2018 me! (If I look tired it’s because I took this picture at like 11pm and was literally in bed 10 minutes before but I really wanted to take this picture).


Let me know which makeup look/version is better 😀

Also you guys better have liked this post because it took about 3 hours because I had to take the pictures, then connect my phone to my laptop, then wait for the pics to load, then try again, then email them to myself, then download each image, put it in the post and do captions. I did it for about an hour last night, an hour today and an hour just now.

Also let me know if you want an updated beauty routine for December/January.


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂



Ma Gradez 2.0

Ok, so if you have seen Ma Gradez, you know that I literally don’t care if people know my grades so here are my grades from this term/year 😀 (It’s an end of year report)

So the way my school grades, there are 2 parts to each grade: effort and attainment

Effort is measured like this:

1 – Very good
2 – Good
3 – Sound
4 – Needs improvement
5 – (IDK but apparently there’s a 5 even though it’s not listed on report – but I think you can guess what this would be)

Attainment is measured like this:

O – Oustanding
V – Very good
G – Good
S – Satisfactory
D – Showing difficulty
N – Not satisfactory

I explained this in my previous post but I’d just save you the effort and explain it here too. On the end of year reports, there’s long comments and big effort breakdowns but I’m just giving the overall grades because it has my name and personal stuff in the comments and also effort so yea 🙂

Art – 2G
Biology – 1G
Chemistry – 1V
English – 1O
Food Tech – 1G
French – 1V
Geography – 1G (I completely botched my end of year exam so I was proud of this)
History – 1V (I never actually got a V in history because I found it boring but the teacher loves me even though I got 66% and she doesn’t give V or G grades that often)
ICT – 1O
Math – 1G
Music – 1V
PE – 2G (I’ve accepted defeat already so I don’t exactly care about this grade tbh)
Physics – 1G
Religious Studies – 1O (Surprising considering I’m a Satanist which isn’t exactly praised in my Christian school)
Spanish – 1V

I’m actually quite proud of my grades this time because I never got 3 Os before (I’ve only had 1 at a time) so I treated myself to some eyeshadows from one of my favourite cheap makeup brands (the set wasn’t exactly cheap considering it was only 10 shades but idc)

Now if we compare last grades (these weren’t actually the most recent set (excluding this set) but I forgot my most recent set soooo) (I’m also not doing an improvement thing like I did with my exam results but anyways)

Art – 1G
Biology – 1G
Chemistry – 2G
Design Tech – 1G
English – 1O (idk how i did that, I hate english to my teeth, but I guess I’m doing something right)
French – 1V
Geography – 1G
History – 1G (surprising because my teacher said I’m the reason history teachers come to work, but she isn’t a lenient lady)
Math – 1G
Music – 1V
P.E. – 1G (achievement because I SUCK and barely try in P.E.)
Physics – 2G
Religious Education – 1V
Spanish – 1V

(We didn’t have an ICT grade because my teacher was away for a long time on family matters)

We also got the median exam mark in each subject on my report, so I decided to be fancy and make a bar chart comparing my mark to the median 😀

Exam results 2018 vs Class Median

(You probably can read it but my mark is in green and the median is in purple)

Anyway, that took a very long time to write and I need to go to bed


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂

Read my writing if you want

Ok, so basically, I have a bunch of friends who love writing and send their writing to various group chats we have (one also posted hers online  – ) but I also have some friends who don’t read said writing (I’m semi-guilty of this; I have a habit of getting myself hyped up about a piece of writing then never actually finishing it) – but you see, these said friends get feedback (anyone on a certain group chat would know who I’m talking about), and I feel selfish for saying this, but I don’t. I read my writing to my parents, only for my mom to care beyond the point of saying ‘it’s good’. My dad pretty much says two words and walks out, and my English teachers basically say this:

It’s good and well-written, but…
proceeds to list 2948329 flaws in my writing

(OK, I did get an O (see my grades post to see what I am talking about) but that’s beside the point)

So I’m putting a few of my pieces on here in hope that people will read them and appreciate them. And please leave some feedback in the comments 🙂

WARNING – Some offensive language used

Red and Grey

Screams filled the air as blazing balls of fire exploded on the already tarnished field. Bodies littered the dying grass as green turned to a deep, dry red. The only survivors were left adorned in shapeless rags; soil and dirt covering the rest. Hair was matted and greasy, eyes were worn and dead, skin was bleeding and blistered. Groans echoed through the ears of the people that were lucky enough to survive the blast as incomplete people rummaged for their body parts. Nobody batted an eye at the portion of humanity obliterated and scarred. Broken souls and incurable hurt sat in the faded grey eyes of Skylar Ellis as her scrawny legs barely held her figure up over the rotting corpses vanishing into the forgotten history just a few centimetres below her. Her olive skin was scarred red; lines littered her legs and arms as she held a knife cluelessly in one hand, the other one clenched into a sheepishly determined fist. She scanned the battlefield, her slowly beating heart aching for a soul to scoop her up and remove her from the scenario she considered a delusion. Her eyes shifted from expressionless orbs to balls of souls resting above her nose. Black hair touched her back as she paid no attention to the concernedly close resemblance to a ball of frizz it had become. Her mouth was forcedly pushed into a slightly intimidating line although the lip was trembling ever so slightly. She shoved all the desperation deep into the unexplorable depths of her mind as she desperately tried to find someone to help her. A sash hung from her bony shoulders, the word ‘LEADER’ faded in blue sharpie. She surveyed the dead bodies once more, her people, lifeless and rotting before her. Nevertheless, she swallowed hard and strode towards the man, sitting triumphantly on a bench, examining the bodies of Skylar’s people. Skylar began to speak, hiding all emotion in her voice behind a mask of cold, heartless tones.

‘Are you happy now? Are you happy you got to keep your silly little rule?’ A single tear rolled down Skylar’s cheek as she glanced at the decomposing carcass of a baby; her own baby brother. He was only a month or two shy of his first birthday, now he only remains a distant memory in Skylar’s flooded mind. She sniffed and turned back to the man, more and more tears rolling down her scarred, dirty face. Much to Skylar’s surprise and scepticism, the man’s face generated a warm, kind-hearted smile which only just got a little too deep in Skylar’s isolated soul.

‘It’s alright. You’ve been stellar, and I’m proud of you. But that’s enough. You never could have won against me, and it was cruel of the Gods to send someone like you to attempt to put a knife to my chest’, More and more tears streamed down Skylar’s face as her breathing became heavier.

‘You killed my family. And now, you pay. The Gods didn’t send me. I did.’

The man’s face blanched instantly as he suddenly paralysed himself in fear. Skylar’s eyes flashed red as she penetrated the knife deep into the man’s chest. Lightning lit up the field and thunder echoed through the ears of the few rivals left standing. Skylar’s face remained emotionless as her mouth firmly stayed in a straight line.

Red and grey. Her eyes flashed red and grey.

Red and grey.

Red and grey. That’s what you’ll see next. If you dare lift a finger towards my family. Red and grey.

Youth Worker
She was always alone. Everyone stayed far away from her. The kids would veer past her as their anxiety controlled their conscience.  The adults would give her disapproving looks as she stared shamefully at the ground. Animals? When she was with animals, her soul would shine into rays of kindness. No other was like her. One of the most caring and gentle souls I had ever met was rejected by society. Nothing was wrong with her. She had no idea of the supernatural. She had no idea what demons were. She just lived her life, alone, seeking love from anything around her. She would always look like she was begging for a hug. She would hold her shoulders to comfort herself from the fear society had placed in her eyes.

I could see there was soul behind the emeralds in her eye sockets. A beautiful one. The colour of wistful air, the texture of a warm feeling. She just wanted nothing more than affection. She would slink away from anyone who looked remotely dangerous, and who can blame her? She was always alone, never seen with her parents. When someone asked her, she would just reply with ‘they’re in the bathroom’, or some shallowly believable tale. She would sit alone and hold her knees, sobbing into them for hours. And to receive what? Menacingly curious stares and tuts. She was such an innocent girl, plagued by the worst of all worlds. No matter what, she always put a brave face on and convince others of her lie. She would wreck her mind so much just so she knows others don’t have to feel the pain. Every day I walked past her and felt pushed to be just like her. Her angelic voice replaced my conscience. Whenever she would come into my youth group, I would always feed her copiously, knowing full well that may be one of the only meals she gets for the day (or week if you want to push it).

And then it happened.

I saw it.

After the youth group closed for the night, I saw her cross the street. The light was red. The man was green. There were no cars. It was safe. I saw her precious feet jog across the tarmac, my heart breaking with every step she took. Suddenly, I remember seeing a bright red sports car fly from oblivion and tear down the road. I saw her get mowed down by the car. I remember taking her to the hospital, staying with her because nobody else would. Not even the nurses.

But I saw something.

I saw a person behind the eyes. I saw a soul that could easily be a world leader.

But I also saw something else.

I saw fear. I saw rejection and hurt in her crystal eyes. I saw innocence wounded by the very people meant to nurture her.

I stayed with her for days, refusing to leave her. I knew that if I left her, she would die alone and I simply couldn’t let that happen. A six-year old shouldn’t have to go through that. If they die, they should be surrounded by weeping parents and grieving friends. Not alone with only her conscience to keep her sane. I would talk to her; tell her about all the animals she would meet in heaven. I told her that I would meet her eventually. Anything to keep her soul uplifted, I would spew out of my mouth just so she wouldn’t have to go through more pain after all she’s been through.

Then it happened.

Dying, she gave her last little smile to the world that has been so unkind.

And that was it.

The monitor beeped as I stared at it, numb. Tears streamed down my face as I held her small, cold hand, rubbing my fingers over hers. I looked out the window and opened it.

‘Why? Why did you have to do this?’

I sat next to the bed as her lifeless body lay. I gave her a hug, her cold body stabbing into my heart like a knife. I kissed her ice cold cheek and walked out, still numb all over.

‘The world will never be the same without you, Holly’.

End house
Maia Abbot stood with her arms folded at the front door, her keys hanging loosely from her belt. Her mom stood before her, her hands clasped in a plea. Maia looked scornfully at her mom with defiance as her mom knelt in front of her, tears streaming down her face. Maia’s angry teenage brain made her open the door and saunter down the street, disregarding her mom’s distress. Her conscience was still divided; one part yelling at her to go and get an adrenalin rush, the other was trying to throw her into the realm of reason and warn her about the dangers of this place.

After all, this wasn’t your regular haunted house.

This is the end house. No creepy name, just end. The house is infamous for claiming thousands of lives, snatching them in its icy grip. Many have passed the no turn point and met their fate. Not from a typical scary, bloody murder, but because they were so undeniably and so overwhelmingly terrified that their adrenalin turned against them and released itself in such a high and toxic amount as to kill them. Maia had heard things about the house from her friends that lived on that same street. They always warned her never to go as they consistently heard blood-curdling screams that were loud and high-pitched enough to shatter a heart in seconds, but Maia always vowed to visit and be the first to win.

The cash prize for reaching the sixth room was $1,000,000 and an iPhone X. Maia wasn’t from a particularly rich household, so something like this would be life-changing at the least.

She had to win. There was no way she couldn’t. After all, she was the fearless badass, why would she cower from something like this?

She reached the house, which had no creepy décor outside, just two glowing balls staring at her from the third floor window. It looked fairly modern, the paint laid in stripes to create a wood effect, and none of the windows looked broken or even remotely stained. She looked at it in smug contemplation as she braced herself. She pushed the door slightly as it swung open violently and slammed against the wall. She saw a front desk, the lobby dimly lit, only one glowing lamp hanging limp from the wall. Standing behind the front desk was a man, two glowing balls staring a hole into her soul. Maia backed away from him in suspicion as he stared blankly into the distance. When she approached the first door, the number ‘1’ carved effortlessly and splashed with paint the colour of dried blood (that’s what Maia thought, anyway), the man whipped his head around instantly and hissed, a snake tongue flapping out of his mouth. Maia furrowed her brows; this wasn’t even remotely close to the mental scars she saw back when they lived in Tanzania, Maia’s birthplace and home for the first 5 years of her life. She pushed open the door as it made a loud creak, to hear ominous organ music and candles scattered around the room. She laughed as she cruised through the room, her brain still questioning itself. The candles weren’t even real flames, just electronic tea-lights you buy from the dollar store. Maia snickered. This was easy, but this was only level 1. She shrugged at her impending terror and pushed open the only other door she could find, this time with the number ‘2’ in the same ‘paint’ as ‘1’. Like the entrance door, it slammed against the wall violently and the head of a small girl, around 5 or 6, shot up and glared at Maia. Two ice-blonde pigtails hung from her round head as red cream was smeared under her eyes foolishly. Maia stepped around the girl as she grabbed onto her hand, so fierce it could cut off circulation. Maia slowly reached for the girl’s boiling hot arm and tried to move it, only to have the girl growl so deep that it had to be a man in disguise.

‘It is your end now’, Maia laughed as the girl’s grip got tighter. She managed to wrestle the girl’s grip away, but the girl still stood in the middle of the room, her glowing eyes yet again burning a hole in Maia’s soul. Maia got a slight shudder but merely brushed it off just like she did the first room. She opened the next door, this time a ‘3’ engraved. The girl stared at Maia as she opened the door. A faint whisper came from her mouth, this time high-pitched and innocent.

‘I wouldn’t go in there if I was you’.

The door slammed behind Maia, this time she was faced with a tall woman, her height causing her to bend over so her face was inches away from Maia’s. It was thin and pinched, the skin sat above the bones, contorting itself to form thin, long cheeks. Maia’s heart began to race as the woman stood before her. Maia ducked under her head and approached the door, still very much aware that the demon was fixed on her trembling figure. She put her hand on the knob, hoping the demon would leave her alone, but almost jumped through the roof when it spoke.

‘Don’t you DARE’, The voice was deep and sounded slightly robotic. Maia’s hand flew off the knob in surprise and she managed to shove her body through the door with what little courage she had left.

She desperately tried to erase the memory of the creature, only to be faced with a table and a chainsaw. She furrowed her brows in suspicion as she etched closer to the door, only to have the chainsaw fly off the table, plug and all, and position itself mere nanometres away from her neck. The revving engine sound pierced Maia’s eardrums as she cowered in terror, sweating bullets. She managed to grab hold of the next door knob, only to see a blood-written message on the wall.

This is the no-turn point. Escape with $1,000,000 or die.

Maia gulped as she flung herself into the next room. The last room. She breathed a sigh of relief as a woman with bleeding black eyes sat before her. She raised her head slowly and Maia gasped as blood ran down her face. The woman simply stared at her. Maia started walking towards the last door, the number ‘6’ placed in the middle of a large gold star. Maia’s chest puffed in triumph, thinking how happy her mom would be when she came back with $1,000,000. Her hand was placed on the doorknob, when the woman shot up from her chair and inches away from Maia’s face, the spittle finding its way onto Maia’s cheeks. She was yelling something, but she was hissing. Maia tried to find a link to any language, while this woman was still hissing in her face, her mouth opening into a large void. Tears streamed down Maia’s face as her stomach churned and her head rushed for her to open the next door. Finally, the woman started to speak English, something Maia could understand.

Blasphemy! Sheer blasphemy!’ Maia shrunk into herself upon the words drifting into her ears. She always had an obsession with the paranormal, and back in Tanzania, she was ridiculed mercilessly for not being a bible thumper like the rest of her village. Those words were the very ones to trigger Maia’s suicidal thoughts and depression. She hid in the corner, shaking, while the woman was still screaming bible phrases into her ears, her eyes running with blood. Maia’s adrenalin finally turned against her, causing Maia’s heart to race to unreasonable levels. She felt it. She was going to die.

And so she did. Her eyes shut and she immediately started turning grey. Yet, her mouth opened, and a snake tongue emerged. The woman grabbed her hand and saw the tongue, only to smirk. She poked her head into the sixth room, to see a tall, faceless man standing in front of a table with an iPhone X and hundreds of cash bills perched on top of it. The wall was covered, almost made, in bones. Skulls and leg bones surrounded the walls as the woman spoke and tossed Maia’s body in.

‘Put the bones up, but keep the body. She’s one of us now’, The man cocked his head to one side.

‘Are you sure?’

‘Did I stutter?’

‘Fine, Mrs Abbot. Are you sure you want to do this to your daughter’s remains?’

‘I never loved her anyway’.


My eyes have never even fleeted across an image like this, never mind a real life person who dares to exist as I write this. It’s always been a flashy spectrum every time one’s eyes dart to hair colour. Before the wave, we all had normal hair and normal lives. And a part of me aches to believe that we still do; clinging onto the normalities we still possessed before the wave. Tears fill my eyes when I remember our skin ranging from an almost artificial white to a deep, rich brown. And when our hair was icy blonde, nutty brown or existential black. Now we’re all the ‘standard’ sickly white as life is drained every second. Our eyes are now just a shallow grey, the remnants of souls being cracked and frayed as the hours drawl on. But our new hair? Electric colours somewhat brighten up the lifeless sky and monotone voices contaminating the air that was once at peace. We got given new, unchangeable hair colours at random; each one representing a type of kinesis. Most are green and electric yellow, telekinesis and photokinesis. On occasion, some elemental kinesis people are seen roaming the streets; bright fiery red for cryokinesis, muted grey for aerokinesis, rustic brown for geokinesis, deep royal blue for hydrokinesis and icy, piercing blue for pyrokinesis. When the hair is even different than that? That’s when it gets fun. I think many in our society today secretly feel at least an ounce of joy and curiosity when the hair becomes purple and pink. Purple signifies magnokinesis whilst pink means electrokinesis. Even rarer than that is gyrokinesis, represented by a spark of bright orange. Those are the only hair colours we had after the wave.

At least, that’s what pretty much all of society thought, including me.

Until I saw her.

I take a part-time job as a mental institution guard. Making sure the nutcracks don’t escape. I have to put a forcefield around the damn institution, because not even the head of the place knows what crackshittery they’re capable of. I was doing my regular job; patrolling the hallways and peering into the unoccupied cells, constantly thanking myself that I wasn’t infected by the wave. I was walking past the cells, admiring and noting all the hair colours popping out at me, then I stopped. A girl was sitting in one of the very last cells on that floor, her legs contorted into an X.  Her eyes were on the brink of becoming violet as her white hair drooped over her shoulders. A large ‘DO NOT ENGAGE’ sign was hung on the only nail lazily hammered into one of the bars. She was silent; yet her piercing eyes said thousands of indescribable words. I crouched in front of the cell, ignoring the sign that was practically screaming at me.

‘They told you not to talk to me’, The girl’s voice was bland, yet unsettlingly high and slightly commanding. ‘They flinch when they see me. Because they know I started it’.

‘Started what?’ I used every ounce of courage left to compose the words, my brain becoming increasingly concerned as the seconds ticked by.

‘You know damn well what’, I gulped. I had a faint inkling, but surely someone so small couldn’t be capable of starting something like this.


‘You know your hair changing colour?’


‘You know the eyes changing colour?’


‘You know the wave?’


‘That was me’.

‘Oh shit. We’re all going to die’.

I’m trying to experiment with my style but these are my favourite ‘new’ pieces because tbh my pre-2018 pieces shouldn’t even be on my computer. By the way, I never edit my work, I just write everything in one go and save it, which apparently is quite unusual. So, if there are some legitimate (i.e. grammar, spelling, punctuation etc) errors, feel free to tell me because I just edit as I write so yea 🙂

Also check out my friend’s book!


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂

Exam Results 2018 + Group Chat fights

Ok so I’ll get to the results at the end of this post because there’s been stuff that I kinda need to get off of my chest because nobody knows except the people involved and I’m dying so yea 😀

Basically, I don’t really trust group chats (see my march/april 2016 archive about why), and until very recently, I’ve only had them with my closest friends. A few of us are very mentally unstable (me included hehe) but normally we’re very nice to each other.

So basically we ship a bunch of people on this group chat and one girl wrote a really long paragraph about how we should stop. (Keep in mind, I spend a lot of time making logos and descriptions for this group chat and a new one was created and nobody texts on the one I made and spent time on) I got really mad, mainly because of the new group chat and the fact that we couldn’t really ship anymore. I started tossing in middle finger emojis and smiley faces because at that point I was on a bunch of pills, very depressed, on my period (which means mood swings), and also very sleep-deprived so my mind was completely out of whack. I mentioned several times that I was in a very bad place and having a mental breakdown. Normally, if someone has a mental breakdown, we write really long essay posts about how much we love and care about them. This time, I got told to stop being a child and to go to my parents. (Also keep in mind I barely ever have breakdowns like this) I couldn’t really go to my parents because my mom wasn’t home or answering her phone and my dad doesn’t really care and gets mad when I get depressed. I said I couldn’t, only to get a ‘sorry but we can’t really do anything’ response. Bear in mind that we are very very very close friends and I haven’t really had a friendship group like this. Even though nobody was really there I started crying and after I had a shower, came back to people leaving the chat and refusing to talk to me. One girl who said I should stop being childish posted on her status (it was on WhatsApp) ‘I’ve had enough of social media’ which kinda infuriated me. I basically was looking at sad quotes until like 11pm (aka 3 hours) and crying my eyes out. I also grabbed my scissors and self-harmed 😀 I haven’t told anyone, not even my friends that weren’t yelling at me but helping me. I haven’t told my parents either or school because I get told that I’m being ‘silly’, so I normally talk to my friends. At school, the two girls who were yelling at me to stop being childish weren’t talking to me, one girl who is abusive (I call her that lol) was really mad at me, so I kinda just wanted to go home and cry my eyes out but my dad was at home and would intuitively ask what’s wrong. As of now it hasn’t been resolved but my anxiety is convincing me that they hate me and my friendships are cut off which terrifies me. So yea, really happy stuff 😀

Anyway, exam results!! 😀

I’ve been wanting to write these ever since exam week (last week) but we had to wait a week for results because we review the papers in lessons. I’m also going to be doing a percentage difference from last year and averages from this and last year.

Spanish – 87% (No difference as I only started it this year)
Spanish Oral – 88% (No difference as I only started it this year)
Math (Non Calculator) – 88% (-3%)
Math (Calculator) – 84% (-2%)
French – 90% (+0%)
French Oral95% (+12%)
English (Creative Writing) – 93% (-2%)
English (Comprehension) – 75% (-20%)
Geography – 67% (-9%)
History – 66% (-13%)
Religious Studies – 92% (+11%)
Music – 85% (+0%)
Biology – 75% (+6%)
Physics – 78% (+0%)
Chemistry – 83% (+5%)

Average (Year 7) – 84%
Average (Year 8) – 83% (-1%)

This is actually quite eye-opening because I thought my grades were really bad and worse than last years but the average has only gone down 1% lol. (And the average in Year 7 was 83.5 but I rounded it up)

Anyways thanks for listening to my ramblings and exam results 🙂


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂

Social Anxiety Tings

Ok, so most of you probably know that I have generalised anxiety disorder (apparently that’s what it’s called) and I’m in therapy (woo) but I haven’t necessarily been diagnosed with social anxiety. I feel like I do have it though because I have a bunch of symptoms and I have anxiety so maybe I do? Read these mental notes about little things that occur when I go anywhere that involves humans, and decide for yourselves.

  • I don’t avoid going out yet I always do it with someone I know can operate around somewhere I’ve never been
  • Whenever I walk past someone I pull out my phone but I literally don’t do anything except unlocking it
  • When I walk I usually have pretty vivid daydreams yet all of them get put on halt when I walk past someone because my energy has to be diverted on that
  • If I take more than .2 seconds getting whatever out of my bag I feel very very embarrassed and get to the point of tears, yet I don’t want to cry because idk
  • I purposely take longer walking routes just to avoid crowds
  • Even when I’m at home/in my garden, I am very quiet and feel judged unless I have music in to distract myself from the noises I make
  • When I’m at school, I’m very sociable and obnoxious around my friends, but as soon as class starts, I shroud myself in a bubble
  • DEAR TEACHERS: If you call on me and I get the wrong answer (even if I volunteered) and you tell me LOUDLY then I will remember it for weeks, maybe even months or years (my school reads my blog lol)
  • The thought of eating alone terrifies me, not because I won’t have anyone to talk to,  but because I have to find an area away from people so I won’t look like I’m intruding their conversation
  • I stress for days if none of my friends are free to eat lunch with me
  • I turn my music down when I walk past someone, even though my earbuds never give off sound anyway
  • If someone’s in front of me when I’m walking, I have to make a mental countdown, get my phone out and look casual just to walk past
  • When I’m in a shop alone and I have to pay, I muster up the courage for at least 5-10 minutes to go pay
  • Because I’m quite musical, my music teacher is pushing me to be in solos but the thought terrifies me, even though I do fine
  • I never go anywhere I’m not familiar with alone

So those are my little social anxiety tings. Let me know if these are symptoms because idk 🙂


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂

The Note (& other stuff)

I really need to get this off my chest, so sorry if this offends you but my mental health has been really bad and I’m literally about to collapse and cry from all the stuff going on, so if this concerns you then please don’t read on please.

The Note

Ok so in England we have school exams from Yr7-10 to prepare us for GCSE and A level exams. We have 3 exams a day with revision breaks after each exam. Today, we had French Oral, English Language and Physics. French Oral was a 2-hour slot but it takes like 3 minutes per person to do their oral. We did it in register order, and I’m like 5th in the register so mine was done pretty quickly. I didn’t bring revision stuff because a) no and b) I was v lazy the night before with packing. I was reading and talking quietly to some girls in the row next to me. They started writing about revision on a piece of paper and putting like thoughts or something. They were passing it around the class since about 50% of us were done with orals and v bored because the teacher wouldn’t let us talk unless it was testing for orals. Idk what people wrote but I knew it was there because I saw people write it so how could I not. Then, a girl comes back from her orals and hands another girl the note. I heard ‘This is from X’ (not saying name because privacy y’know?) and the teacher started questioning the girl who had been given the note. She finally got the girl to hand it over and told the head of key stage (who is v strict and almost hated in our year). Then the teacher told the deputy head (who actually likes me because I’m smart but can be evil).

Lunchtime rolls around. And so does afternoon registration. So, we’re sitting in our places ready for the next exam, when the head of key stage comes in with a note. Everyone squirms because people in my class told me and a few others who weren’t involved to ‘own up as a form’ because it would be easy. [FYI: There are these things called ‘penalty points’ and basically are used in every empty threat, but if you get 3 in a term then that results in a detention and a letter home 😀 ], but then people started talking about penalty points. I don’t know if they were actually issued (we’ll get to why I didn’t know later), but the head of key stage was lecturing us about it, then said ‘at the end of the day, go apologise to [teacher]. It’s the decent thing to do’. I didn’t write/see what was written so I wasn’t going to go apologise. (Which is why I didn’t know because they were probably going to be issued by the teacher mentioned before) Great. All behind us now, right?

Wrong. When I got home, I texted my friend who was involved and was like ‘how did the apology go’. Apparently parents are involved so she’s not apologising. She started ranting on our group chat I have with a bunch of best friends (including the one from Matlock bath wink wink) and one of my friends who’s a year ahead was trying to figure out what was going on. She basically told me that I should have owned up and my friend who was involved started giving reasons how everyone was involved. I basically told her that the only reason she was doing that was because she needed validation and wanted to drag me down too. A bunch of my other friends joined the chat and started giving their input, to which my mental health died. So now I’m questioning myself as to whether I should apologise or not.

Other Stuff

Basically, my aunt is staying with us for a week (she’s not actually related but she’s my mom’s best friend and my dad’s ‘second wife’ (that’s what he says anyway lol)) and she is staying in exam week. if y’all didn’t know, I have anxiety and depression so my mental health is just dead all over. I really needed someone to test me on my French orals but I already bugged my dad because a bunch of stuff of mine was broken so I couldn’t ask him because he was already v mad, and MY MOM AND AUNT WERE OUT GALAVANTING AND DOING GIRL THINGS EVEN THO THEY LITERALLY HAVE BEEN DOING THAT ADKJKLFSFHSIFHFHEFH so I died yesterday. Also in the morning sometimes my mom is up at the same time as me so we get the opportunity to have chats and stuff without dying because I only get to talk to her when she comes home at like 8pm and I go to bed at 9 anyway. NOW MY AUNT IS MOOCHING off of that and basically whenever my mom and I have a deep chat that’s kinda private my aunt has to mooch and ugh. NOT TO MENTION WHEN I WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH MY MOM AND TELL HER ABOUT MY DAY SHE MAKES ME TELL MY AUNT

Maybe I just hate people who aren’t my friends (and they only stay for like a night at most) in my house because my house is kinda like my release where I can just breathe and not have a fake persona and bubbling anger.

Reading that back I sound like a bratty moron.

Gtg die in a hole of mental death.


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂

Random Thoughts

Idk what this post even is :DDDDD

I’ve become a true emo oh lord help me. I’m going to a PANIC! concert in August so I WILL POST PICS because it will be lit 🙂 (It’s also 3 days after the 4 year anniversary 😀 )

I also wanted to talk about this Stephen King quote:

AND I WAS FUMING because that’s not the philosophy of the books at all. I’m in the process of writing an in-depth comparison (it probs wont be out for a few months bc it’s v long), and that quote is just DRIPPING with falseness.

If I had to rewrite it, it would probably go something like this:

“Harry Potter is about how only inexplicable bravery will give you credit and a meaningful place in history. Twilight is society’s reality being put in front of us but we don’t like it because we’re too cowardly to accept that this is what we’re doing”.

Don’t believe me? In HP, Harry fights villains at least seven times, if not more. That’s pretty much the only reason it’s become such a successful book, because there’s a slew of characters and we want our children to grow up with an IQ above 10. Twilight strips down the reality of our society from about the 1910s-60/70s and shows what women actually did during the time. And we choose to criticise it? Only because feminism is being drilled into our heads and anyone who doesn’t support it should be ashamed. So, what are the books actually like now?

I’ll go into more detail in my comparison but that was a rant that I had for a few days bottled up.

Also, we have exams next week and I legit want to die yayayayayayayyyyyyyyyyyyy 🙂

And my anxiety is getting to me really bad and I want to talk about it on here but people from school read my blog and I would probs get a detention sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I’m not sayin anything

Jus’ waiting for the sweet embrace of death and the panic concert :D:D:D:D:D:DD:D:

I’m also v scared for our schools residential trip even tho I’ve been to france with school and ive been fine


She was always alone. Everyone stayed far away from her. The kids would veer past her as their anxiety controlled their conscience.  The adults would give her disapproving looks as she stared shamefully at the ground. Animals? When she was with animals, her soul would shine into rays of kindness. No other was like her. One of the most caring and gentle souls I had ever met was rejected by society. Nothing was wrong with her. She had no idea of the supernatural. She had no idea what demons were. She just lived her life, alone, seeking love from anything around her. She would always look like she was begging for a hug. She would hold her shoulders to comfort herself from the fear society had placed in her eyes.

I could see there was soul behind the emeralds in her eye sockets. A beautiful one. The colour of wistful air, the texture of a warm feeling. She just wanted nothing more than affection. She would slink away from anyone who looked remotely dangerous, and who can blame her? She was always alone, never seen with her parents. When someone asked her, she would just reply with ‘they’re in the bathroom’, or some shallowly believable tale. She would sit alone and hold her knees, sobbing into them for hours. And to receive what? Menacingly curious stares and tuts. She was such an innocent girl, plagued by the worst of all worlds. No matter what, she always put a brave face on and convince others of her lie. She would wreck her mind so much just so she knows others don’t have to feel the pain. Every day I walked past her and felt pushed to be just like her. Her angelic voice replaced my conscience. Whenever she would come into my youth group, I would always feed her copiously, knowing full well that may be one of the only meals she gets for the day (or week if you want to push it).

And then it happened.

I saw it.

After the youth group closed for the night, I saw her cross the street. The light was red. The man was green. There were no cars. It was safe. I saw her precious feet jog across the tarmac, my heart breaking with every step she took. Suddenly, I remember seeing a bright red sports car fly from oblivion and tear down the road. I saw her get mowed down by the car. I remember taking her to the hospital, staying with her because nobody else would. Not even the nurses.

But I saw something.

I saw a person behind the eyes. I saw a soul that could easily be a world leader.

But I also saw something else.

I saw fear. I saw rejection and hurt in her crystal eyes. I saw innocence wounded by the very people meant to nurture her.

I stayed with her for days, refusing to leave her. I knew that if I left her, she would die alone and I simply couldn’t let that happen. A six-year old shouldn’t have to go through that. If they die, they should be surrounded by weeping parents and grieving friends. Not alone with only her conscience to keep her sane. I would talk to her; tell her about all the animals she would meet in heaven. I told her that I would meet her eventually. Anything to keep her soul uplifted, I would spew out of my mouth just so she wouldn’t have to go through more pain after all she’s been through.

Then it happened.

Dying, she gave her last little smile to the world that has been so unkind.

And that was it.

The monitor beeped as I stared at it, numb. Tears streamed down my face as I held her small, cold hand, rubbing my fingers over hers. I looked out the window and opened it.

‘Why? Why did you have to do this?’

I sat next to the bed as her lifeless body lay. I gave her a hug, her cold body stabbing into my heart like a knife. I kissed her ice cold cheek and walked out, still numb all over.

‘The world will never be the same without you, Holly’.

ngl that’s my saddest story ive ever written

I read it to my parents and they cried and so did I

so I shall make you cry too

comment if u cried 😀


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂


13th Birthday Haul 2018!

I turned 13 on April 4, woop! I know it’s been forever but tbh I haven’t had the time/effort to do this and also I have my grade 4 flute on Tuesday help I wanna die because if I don’t do my exam now then I have to learn a whole new syllabus (it expires on the 31st), and be like 2 years behind. Yay!

Now, let’s get into the haul (there’s a lot of stuff so yea and also I missed out small stuff like buttons bc they’re just buttons)

I’m going to seperate them into categories because there’s a lot so yea!

Body/hand care


From one of my friends I got some aromatherapy roller balls (they’re actually quite good (mainly the energy one) but I smelt the beautiful dreams one and had a nightmare lol)

hype set.PNG

From another friend i got a hype body set (idk if its in other parts of the world but in the UK its like a fancy teen brand (kinda like BBW in the USA))

hand creams.PNG

From my grandma I got 8 different BBW hand cream scents (I have doubles of these but theres no point showing them) (scents (L-R): Vanilla, be amazing, overnight moisture, fragrance free, pretty as a peach, vanilla buttercream, hello beautiful & at the beach)

I also got body mists but i just got doubles and im lazy soo ye

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From my grandma I got 3 BBW shower gels (and yes this pic was taken on my toilet lol) (scents: A thousand wishes, moonlight path & warm vanilla sugar)


From my parents: 3 EOS lipbalms (scents: pomegranate, wild berry & strawberry)

body lotion.PNG

From my grandma I got 4 BBW body lotions (they match with the body creams so im not going to put the scents on)

body creams.PNG

From my grandma I got 4 BBW body creams (scents: moonlight path, a thousand wishes, warm vanilla sugar & pretty as a peach)

baby lips from alice.PNG

From another friend I got the maybelline baby lips (shade cherry me)


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So my uncle took me on a shopping spree (i got £130!!!) because he’s veryy um, awkward. You will know if you have read my ‘mouse’ posts or have seen him irl lmao (it was before my bday because he left on the 3rd (he lives abroad) but its a bday present)


Charlie body mists (fun, powerful, fearless, independent & sexy)
NYX powder puff lippie (shade 7)
Essence clear brow gel
Too faced better than sex mascara (it actually is rly good tho)
Too faced chocolate bonbons palette (it smells so good yum)
Urban Decay naked 2

netsys present.PNG

From my best friend (the one from the matlock bath post) I got the smashbox liquid lipstick (shade BAWSE bc i told her forever that i wanted it lol)

(I dont have a pic bc i used it up but from another friend i got a £15 gift card from boots and a lipliner (from a different friend))

makeup from town.PNG

On my birthday my mom took me shopping because i wanted stuff lmao (also i got some cake from a RICULOUSLY expensive cake shop (its good tho) for freeeee)


Real techniques bold metals brushes 300 & 201
MAC lipstick (shade please me)
Rimmel natural bronzer (shade 022)
Maybelline master precise eyeliner
L’oreal life’s a peach blush
MAC 3d black lash mascara (for free bc it was my bday)
NYX eyeshadow (money maker) it was £1 lol
NYX ultimate brights eyeshadow palette
Urban Decay naked 2 basics
Rimmel match perfection concealer (shade 10)
NYX create your own eyeshadow palette

makeup from parents.PNG

From my parents I got more makeup 😀


Maybelline superstay foundation (shade 03)
Rimmel match perfection powder
Urban Decay naked skin concealer (shade fair neutral)
Revolution concealer (shade C1)


I got makeup brushes (the one on the far left is from a friend and the rest are from my parents)


Real techniques foundation brush
RT blend and blur foundation
RT instapop accent brush, pointed foundation brush, lip brush, instapop eye brush, instapop cheek brush (in the instapop set)


yellow shirt

From my grandma I got a yellow primark sweater (its so cute tbh)

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From my parents I got a pink primark hoodie

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From my parents I got a mint green hoodie (its actually rly light green it looks blue on the camera)

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Also from my parents I got a P!ATD shirt (i got an mcr one too but its in the wash) AND IM SEEING BEEBO IN AUGUST OMGOSSHHHH



I got a ton of cds (they’re all from different people so i’ll put who they’re from individually)

MCR black parade (from parents)
P!ATD death of a bachelor (from my grandma)
TOP blurryface (from my grandma)
TOP vessel (from my grandma)
P!ATD twtltrtd (from my parents)
P!ATD fever (from my grandma)
MCR three cheers for sweet revenge (from my parents)
P!ATD pretty odd (from my parents)


I got a yamaha flute (it was almost £1000!) its the YFL 372 if you’re wondering (i actually did my grade 4 flute today comment if u want to see it bc it went rly bad 🙂 )

cd player.PNG

This is rly stupid but when i got my cds i didn’t have a good cd player (the ones we have are family ones and they’re not that good so i wanted my own) its by BUSH (from my mom btw)



I got a yankee candle for my birthday (from my mom) (scent sweet nothings)


And I got keys! Because I walk to/from school by myself my parents thought it would be a good idea to have these just in case (but my dad gets angry if i dont use them lol) from my dad


I missed out little things but this post would be rly long otherwise, and I just want to say

Image result for thank you

To everyone that got me presents or said happy birthday (even the store clerks)

My hands rly hurt it took like 45 mins to take all the pics and do captions (and my computer is rly slow lol)


~bloggerofthebloggish 🙂